MIS^adventures of A modern Day Maria

Silver Glasses

2007-07-07T02:48:00.000+13:00

It all started when I knocked down my pink-rimmed eyeglasses. I had to replace them because I can’t see properly without my eyeglasses; I am born with near sightedness, an eye deficiency so I must wear my glasses to see things clearly, especially during class. As I was saying, I bought new eyeglasses but instead of replacing my old pair with the usual pink rims or something that’s girly enough for me, I bought silver-rimmed eyeglasses. Everyone was quite surprised, because not only I knocked down my glasses, but also because they thought I would wear the distinct hue that they associated with my personality-Pink.

Since First Year High school, I’ve been with the same, old me- Pink lover, kikay, and Bubbly. It’s not that I grew tired of the old me, It’s just that I don’t want to be this ME forever, and I can’t be ME forever. I don’t want to regret in the end, I don’t want to even up not knowing who I am inside. I’m tired of living with that image that the people around me have been given me, I’m tired of living up to that image just because I was to chicken to try new things, just because I was scared to fail, just because I was scared that they won’t understand.

I tried living up that image, I tried being me but they won’t just accept it. Good thing that I’ve realized that I don’t have to please them, that If they can’t even accept me at my worst, then they don’t even deserve to be with me when I’m at my best. Few months from now, I’m going into a bigger adventure, College.

However, it’s not the destiny that counts, it’s the journey that matters. I know that when I reach College, I’ll meet people with different strokes, different traits that can either make or break them and I don’t want to be the girl who plays too safe.

I used to hate change. All my life, I’ve been playing on the safe side, too afraid to get hurt, to hurt to move on but now, I’ve realized that change is the only thing that’s undeviating… and change is inextricable. We can never avoid change.

I want to get in touch with my inner self; I want to know myself better. I don’t want to live with the voice that they gave me, ’cause I have my own, and from now on, I’ll have my own set of trail. I will now longer follow the track that they want me to take, I will no longer compromise what’s in my heart, I will live my life MY way, I will no longer allow anyone to step up on me.

So try to stomp on me, try to douse my inner flame, try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold within me- and You won't succeed. I’m going to live my life that way that I want to, make my own decisions, be my own me, and yes, my eyeglasses shall be the start.

Insuppressible Ire.

2007-07-03T00:23:00.000+13:00

I want this blog to become a decent one, because I am trying my best to make every reader's soul happier whenever they came across to my blog, but sometimes, we all have to let go of all the rage that we've been feeling-or we'll explode. I'm not perfect, and I know how to bitch really, really well. I don't want to talk about this, but this thought keeps on haunting me inside, It makes me bleed more within. However, just to remind each and everyone of you that I'm just a human being I have my own limitations... I'm letting it off my chest...

I HATE YOU:

~Mga taong masyadong mataas ng Pride dahil nakapag aral lang sa sikat na school.

~Mga taong pinapalaki ang maliit ng issue na feeling naman nila eh involved sila.

~Mga taong grabe makapintas as if naman na perfect sila.

~Mga taong mahilig mang judge as if naman na hinihingi opinion nila.

~Mga taong mahilig mangbintang as if naman na alam nila ang nangyari.

~Mga one-sided na tao na pilit pang nakikisawsaw para masabing may opinion sila.

~Mga taong mahilig magpasimula ng kampihan pero sasabihin neutral sila at gusto nila ng UNITY.

~Mga taong sinasabing friend ka nila pero titirahin ka patalikod.

~Mga taong mahilig magpalipat lipat ng partido.

~Mga taong walang paninindigan.

~Mga taong linta na didikit sayo pag may kailangan;iiwanan ka sa ere pag wala ka ng use,sisiraan ka pa sa huli.

~Mga taong mahilig manira sa kapwa pero sila pa ang galit kapag hindi sila nagtagumpay sa balak nila.

~Mga taong inggit na inggit sa status ng iba kaya maninira na lang as if naman na convincing sila.

~Mga taong hindi ka kayang tanggapin kaya pipilitin ka nilang magbago;pag hindi ka nagbago, ikaw pa ang walang pakisama.

~Mga taong nagmamarunong. Period.

~Mga taong feel na feel na friend ka nila dahil sikat/maganda ka pero pag kailangan mo sila,biglang nawawala.

~Mga taong hindi marunong mag thank you man lang.

~Mga taong walang delicadeza at utang na loob.

~Mga mang aagaw ng boyfriend na feeling naman nila eh mauubusan sila ng lalaki.

Now that I've let it all out, I feel better. Wala akong pinapatamaan to anyone in general, it's more of a reminder that we must be considerate and sensitive to everyone else. Sometimes, we become one-sided; we turn into bitches/whores without even realizing it. So please, bear with me. Sabi nga ni Yeng… "..Tao lang ako..."

First Week

2007-06-27T01:46:00.002+13:00

Hello everyone! just to give you some clarification, I'm officially fine, I'm not heart broken-not now. I wasn't able to update my blog because:

Physics ate my time.
It took me a while to think of what to blog.
I was too lazy to right.
My emotional baggage kills me.

I know,I know. I just said that I'm not heart broken- because I'm okay now. The thing is, within 10 months, I'll be leaving my school, and when that time comes, I want to have the closure-everything which hurt me, broke me. I've been acting really bitchy since last week, because of this freaking emotional baggage. I want to express my rage, but I don't want to hurt those who HURT me. I don't want to BREAK those who BROKE me. I don't want to be rude- but they're forcing me to do so.

In addition to my major sama ng loob, my freaking YM caught a virus,so I can't give away messages to my friends.Kamusta naman ang kamalasan?!

I will be taking my UPCAT also this coming August 4, 12:30. I'll be taking the test at the Building of Architecture. So if you want to see me in flesh, go and find me.lol.

Anyway, thank you for those who cared and still cares,thank you to those who reminds me that despite of my roller coaster life, I still have my own reasons to be happy. thank you for those who keeps on believing in me. and to those who keeps on reading my blog.

Wo Ai Ni, Jiu Xiang Lao Shu Ai Dami. :)

My So-called First day high

2007-06-15T22:25:00.000+13:00

Yes, Guys. I had a super duper extended vacation. But come on, Give me break! You know how cruel my teachers can be…and I believe that I deserve that long vacation. Now that my classes are officially on, I would say that this early, forgive me if I won’t blog, believe me, I would love to write an entry each single day but my lifestyle just won’t let me do so. I have a rocky year ahead.

I am voted as Scouting Organization’s Quarter Master, which means that I have to maintain the cleanliness, orderliness, and other “ness” possible inside our office. In addition to that, if something is not in order, even if it’s not my fault, I will always be the one to blame, but I guess it’s not that bad, since I won by Majority. lol. I am also the head of the Membership committee of Red Cross Youth, CMIC council. As they say, Great Positions always come with big responsibilities… and I’ll always be thankful for those who voted for me, because I know, they wouldn’t vote for me if I they don’t trust me at all.

I’m glad that most of my friends were still in the same section as mine, and now that we’re the seniors, We have to be good examples to the younger batches, isn’t that ironic? We actually love breaking laws. Only two of my friends weren’t in the same section as mine, they were transferred to the other section while most of us managed to be in the cream section.

It’s hard though, because this year, I have numerous things to make my life turn from bad to worse. Want to know what are they? Take a peek:

+ My Freaking Application forms for College. In fact, Hannah, Michelle, and I had to harass Miss Evangeline (I hope I got her name right) for my application for UP. There’s a very little chance for me to pass the UPCAT but I have to take that test so the next time that I’ll take another test, I know where to put my hands on.

+My new Positions. Enough Said.

+ The One Hour Subject Rule. The School administration imposed a new rule where in all subjects will be given an hour. So kamusta naman ang Physics,Calculus, at English with Sir Jhun na isang oras? Can you say torture?

+20 minute break. I so hate that. As in. I have 2 breaks, but only 20 minutes each, so how can we possibly east right with that schedule?

I know, this is going to be loooong school year for me, but I know, I’ll get through this. Life is tough, but I am tougher.

Rock to School!

2007-06-14T00:50:00.000+13:00

It’s been a while since I last wrote a decent entry; it took me a while, a long while to organize my thoughts, because deep inside me, there is an empty space which bleeds like there’s no tomorrow. Okay, okay. I know, you wouldn’t want to hear me and see me turn all grumpy, grouchy, and insensitive.

I’m going to school in less than a week and I can’t help but feel excited! I feel so overjoyed that finally, I’ll have something to run into when I start to feel the emptiness again. School still means learning, This year is going to be my last and final year at high school, and after this year, life will never be the same again. I won’t come to the same school, I will not wear the same uniform again, but mostly I won’t be with the same people again. High School taught me to become strong; I faced numerous betrayals, back stabbings, and lies. I experienced the taste of first love as well as the stings of the first heart break. In High School, I met different kinds of personalities, some blended well with mine, many hurt me, but few made a difference.

Things that are going on right now may not be the best, it’s rocky and painful but I know that this way is the way to happiness. There’s still a lot of things that can happen, a lot of things to look forward to, and I won’t become all grumpy just because some jerk broke my heart. No way, hell no!

Things that I’m excited about:

+ That new, hot, hot Physics Teacher. I want to meet that yumminess who’ll surely make me love Physics.

+ Learn more. I’m in love with learning and trying new things, I love misadventures!

+New Badges. I want to attain more badges, since I’m graduating; I want to wear my sash loud and proud with new badges that will come from my own effort.

+New People. Different strokes, different folks, I’d love to meet people of different shapes and sizes.

+Sweet Sixteen. I want to be sixteen forever! I want to enjoy my birthday, with or without him.

+ New Crushes. The prospective of new hot, hot schoolmates is very high. Now, that will make me look forward to every school day.

+Allowance. Enough said.

+ ~~Forget Him.~~ Okay, this shouldn’t be included but I can’t help it, I know that the more puyatan night I’ll have, slowly; I’ll stop thinking about him. I might be running away from the problem but I have no other choice.

Things I’m not excited about:

+Late Night review sessions which will last until 2am.
+ Pressure.
+People who’ll ask me “Kamusta na kayo?”. I swear, if anyone asks me that question, I’m going to slit that person’s throat.
+Getting wet because of the rain.
+Cramming again.

For everyone, Keep in mind that the key in learning is loving to learn more, never settle for second best, always aim to become the best. Remember the song from Princess Diaries?

“Make a wish, take a chance, make a change and BREAKAWAY…”

Empty Inside

2007-06-09T00:29:00.000+13:00

I wanna make you smile whenever you're sad

Carry you around when your arthritis is bad

All I wanna do is grow old with you

I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches

Build you a fire if the furnace breaks

Oh it could be so nice, growing old with you

I'll miss you

I'll kiss you

Give you my coat when you are cold

I'll need you

I'll feed you

Even let ya hold the remote control

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink

Put you to bed if you've had too much to drink

I could be the man who grows old with you

I wanna grow old with you

Beautiful song, but I can't appreciate the lyrics 'cause I feel so empty.Sigh. I don't know why, I shouldn't be feeling like this anyway, because as far as I can remember, few days ago, I even wrote a blog entry that I'm okay..-but that's what I thought..

I can't understand why I'm still feeling this emptiness inside.. It even makes me feel inferior about myself, I'm starting to think and feel that I'm not the kind of girl that a guy takes seriously....

My past relationship didn't end well.. because I still don't know why he walked out of my life..

and I hate it.and Hate it 'cause no matter what I do, No matter where I go, everything reminds me of him. If only I could teach my heart to love somebody else,I will.

Because I can't understand why I'm hurting like this but still, I cannot let go of what we've had..

Sweet,Really?

2007-06-07T19:14:00.000+13:00

49 days from now, I'm going to welcome a new chapter of my life, 49 days from now, my transition from baby to Lady will come true... because 49 days from now, I will be turning Sweet Sixteen already! Yay!

I'm quite excited about this before, because I thought that when my sweet sixteen comes, I may not have the grandest birthday celebration but I have everything that can possibly make me happy-but I was wrong, Everything that makes me smile was taken away from me before I knew it, and it hurts.

Actually, I never thought that I'd make some wish list again, like I did last year 'cause I can't even find the reason to be excited about my birthday, but still, Sweet Sixteen is still Sweet Sixteen and I have no plans of not making it a birthday to remember, besides, I can only be Sixteen once!

When I was 13, I have a clear picture of who I am already when I'm 16, I thought that I'd have a boyfriend who'll treat me like a princess when I turn 16. and let’s not forget that bunch of Roses that will be delivered at my front door.

But now, 49 days and it seems like my picture of how my birthday's going to be is far from what I thought I would be. But I just don't care, with or without a boyfriend, I'm going to make my birthday a day to remember!

So Let's go to my idea of my Sweet Sixteen….Actually, I want to have the following:

16 Roses

!6 Symbolic Gifts

16 Dances

Okay,So let's now proceed to my Wishlist! I love making wish lists,I was lucky enough 'cause last year, I got everything that I wished for!

My Wishlist:

+ To know the reason why that someone walked out of my life.

+ to become free from my past who keeps on haunting me.

+Forever UNLI sa Globe.

+A Sweet message from anyone which can possibly encourage me to feel better.

+To Find the reason to Smile again.

+See Gem and Roderick.

+ A Piggy Stuff toy that can cheer me up.

+Pass all my exams (admissions tests)

+Better Grades,.

+More Transparent people.

+Friends who'll make me feel less invisible.

+To get over the pain.

~As of now, these are the things that I'm wishing for..Maybe I'll update you guys when I have new ones.. :)

Xoxo!

Art of Letting Go

2007-06-04T00:54:00.000+13:00

I went to church yesterday... My mind was actually traveling, I kept on thinking about the things that happened the previous week, I kept on wondering why they had to leave all at the same time-leaving me defenseless and empty inside. When it was time for the Priest to give the homily, I stopped those things from invading my mind to give way for God’s words.

For the Homily, he said that "our hearts can understand the things that our mind can't. That's why the Holy Spirit dwells in our hearts, to help us understand and to clear our minds when things become gloomy."

True enough, just like the things that happened to me, I kept on asking God why he took my boyfriend away, but I can't find the reasons why. It has been a week since he left me; a week had gone by without him. Last Friday, Ate Nhel also spoke to me about this matter, 'cause they were very disturbed by the way I act because according to them, I am no longer the Sassy Jenny that they use to know.

Ate Nhel told me that it must be really painful as well for "Panda" to leave, but he had to. "He has his own reasons, but you know, It's hard when yo'’re distant to the one you love, and sometimes, It's much better if you'll let each other go… because if you're meant to be, God will find away to unify you again.", ate Nhel told me, and those words were enough to let me get over the pain.

I pondered on those words… because if I were him, I'd rather run for it and do everything to save our relationship despite of the risks, but I am not him. He has his own reasons why he preferred to end our relationship instead of saving it, and he might be hurting, too but quite not the way I'm hurting.

If you’'e thinking that I hate him for doing this to me, no I don't. I believe that this happened to make the two of us grow stronger, and even If I lost a boyfriend, I'm really hoping that I didn't lose a best friend. One of my closest friends, Ekcha, called me yesterday to check If I’m okay, She even told me that I'm on the right track, living a normal life like how I used to.

Though life will never be the same without him, I have a life when I didn't know him, when I didn't have him, and I was alright. All I have to do is to get back to that place again. My world won't stop just because he stopped loving me, He's just one of the people who'll make a difference in my life, who'll make me stronger, and will eventually leave a mark.

I know, In God's own time, I'll fall in love again, but when that time comes. I'll make sure that it would be to the right person, under the right time, for the right reasons... and that love will be worth all the tears, the pain, and the wait... And I’ll forget I ever cried.

I'm not even wishing for a Prince Charming because He may dance with me all night but He'll let me slip away when the clock hits 12, Superman can even fly me all the way to the moon but He'll leave me to save the world, Spiderman can give me the sweetest kiss but he'll vanish without even goodbye. Peter Pan will fly with me and will take me to other beautiful places but Wendy will always have his heart… Sure Aladdin might be a theft, but He'll take me to a magic carpet ride, but will he stay if he didn’t have genie? So after all, Shrek might be a slimy looking ogre, not even a handsome prince charming material, far from perfect but he'll stay with me forever, even I’m not a perfect princess, He'll appreciate me for who I am, not for what I am.. And we'll be happy forever.

My exboyfriend taught me a lot of things… he taught me how to believe in love, how to keep my self intact, and he showed me that I'm beautiful just the way I am… though I still miss him, I know that he'll be happy in whatever path that he takes, even without me. One day, He'll find his own princess, and I'll be really happy to see him with the right person in his hands... :)

Break ups are never easy, but they make us stronger. It's a part of growing up. It can even make or break you, but if it breaks you, keep in mind that it's not the end of the world, you're heart will now when It's finally home, Believe me, God will surely give you something better, better than what you’re dreaming of.

2007-06-02T04:31:00.001+13:00

Beautiful Day

I received my license today from Red Cross, Valenzuela Chapter. I can’t help but feel so giddy about it, not because I want to show it off but I want to save lives, touch more hearts, and help those in need whenever I can. But my license is not what I’m talking about the beautiful day. The beautiful thing about this day is what happened after our graduation from Red Cross.

I’ve been a Girl Scout since I was 5, as a twinkler scout, then when I was in grade 6, Scouting resumed as a subject. I loathed it at first because I thought Scouting is a hell, but hell no, I was so wrong. Fast forward to now, it’s been 3 years, 3 years with scouting, and I have no plans of quitting.

“Kapag may kinukuha si God sa atin, May ibibigay sya sa atin na higit pa sa kinuha nya. “

At present, there are 21 senior scouting officers, but 2 of us are leaving because they have to switch schools, Roderick has to transfer to St.Mary while Gem has to transfer to Marilao ‘cause his family moved to a new place.

It’s painful for us to let them go because we’ve grown so close to each other to the point that we even treat each other as siblings. I never had a sister, neither a brother, that’s why I treat them so special; I love them from the bottom of my heart. Each one of us is special in a way or two and we already proved that scouting is not an organization; it’s a family… that’s why it’s hard for us to be parted from each other.

These people have touched my life, in scouting, I found not just a sister, but many of them, I found the most beautiful people, the most inspiring brood, and I’ve found the importance of trust, love, and respect in them. I never thought that saying good bye will be the hardest thing to do.

I believe that this is not good bye, my co-scouts might be miles away from us but they will always be in our hearts-forever. No matter what, they will always have a special spot in our hearts, Sabi nga ni Sir Ryan, Scouting is like a kapatiran, even though we’ll be graduating from high school, even though some of us will leave for reasons that they don’t want, but they had to, we’ll always be the family that we always knew. Being apart from each other doesn’t make us separated, neither out of the family because no matter what happens, our family will stay,we’ll always be together- in our hearts of hearts.

Almost all of us cried after Sir Ryan gave his message, because He’s the most loving Daddy that we’ll ever know, even though he’s not perfect, we don’t care, he transformed my life-so do everyone of my co-scouts did. I can’t imagine how I would turn out to be if I didn’t have them. God took away my boyfriend for the reasons that’s only for them to know, but I’m still blessed because I still have my scouting family who accepted me and loved me even though I can be really bitchy, really klutzy, and very hyper sometimes. They love me even if I’m not perfect-and I love them all the same.

This is the last day that we’re going to be complete, because even though many will be a part of scouting, no one can ever replace Roderick and Gem’s place. Life would never be the same without them by my side, but I believe that God has other plans for them that’s why he took them away but what matters is that, God gave us two of his wonderful creatures who touched our lives. It would be a lie If I’m going to tell you that I’ve accepted the truth that God’s taking them away from us, but I know, In God’s own time, My brothers will return to our family.

We might be miles always from each other but Roderick and Gem will always be in my heart, I’ll never forget them, and If they will decide to go back, They are always welcome.

There were times that we become so hard on God, blaming him for taking away those we love dearly, but what we fail to understand is that, God is doing that for a reason, and under the right circumstances, those who left will be replaced by better ones but still, those who left will always be in our heart-and they will never leave us, miles away might be gap but our love for them will always be the bridge to fill the gap.

Beneath the Rain..

2007-05-31T02:13:00.000+13:00

Hey guys! How's everyone doing? Hope you like my new skin. It's from blogskins and It's not well maintained (still). I'm having a hard time fixing the layout 'cause a lot has been happening to fast.

Anyway, Mich and I went to SM Valenzuela to fish some gifts for my co-scouts, Gem and Roderick. They're leaving our family because they have to,not because they want to. Sometimes, I ask my self why do people have to leave, it hurts 'cause once oyu've developed a certain bond and love for the person,that person walks out to your life and more often than not, you'll never know the reason why.

Back to my gift fishing,we,literally toured around every floor! Only to realize that we have just one safe option,to buy pins/ key chain for our little brothers. Actually, I planned to buy gifts tomorrow,but I went shopping with Mich instead 'cause it won't be healthy if I'll by myself when I'm stuck in this dreadful situation.

When It's about time for us to go home, it was raining so hard outside,buti na lang may payong ako 'cause If I don't have one,we'll surely be soaking wet.

And when we're walking home, it's still raining but it stopped when we did something na most of you won't ironically do-pray and ask God for help!

And guess what..tumigil yung ulan.

I asked God something...sana pakinggan nya.. I'm sure papakinggan nya.di ko lang alam kung ibibgay nya yung hinihingi ko... :(

Lost

2007-05-28T16:06:00.000+13:00

I can't believe it. I've lost the only reason why I cna still smile after a bad day,the only person who can make my heart beat faster and slower at the same time, the only reason why I kept on believing that there is happily ever after...Now.. I'm living again..in a world where love is a scorned as an illusion..

Summer’s Last Hurrah!

2007-05-27T20:02:00.000+13:00

I can’t believe that summer’s already over. Wait, I haven’t hit the beach yet and it’s over? Hell no. Summer quickly passed by, I didn’t even realized how soon summer is. Sure, I have the weather, the sweat, and the allergies that It gives me but what I love about summer is that, it makes me find my self again. This would be my last summer as a high school student, ‘cause next year, I’ll be probably busy making all sorts of preparation for a new journey- College. Even though I didn’t hit the beach I still had so much fun! This summer thought me a lot of things. Here’s some of what I loved about this summer!

I’ve learned…

+ How to be a kid again- My playtime with my little neo print, Mika thought me so much. I revived my love for blowing bubbles, my amusement for super heroes (yeah, Super Twins counts.)

+ That it’s not important to have everything that you want, but it’s more advisable to have what you need. My boyfriend taught me how to appreciate little things; he taught me how not to sweat the small stuffs, and how to value the things that people do out of love.(I’m missing him more…)

+ To love my own size. I used to hate my massive thighs, flabby arms, and chubby cheeks so much ‘cause I thought they made me look unattractive but as what my panda said, it doesn’t matter what size I’m in, what more important is what I have inside. And I’m proud to say that I’m more than just a pretty face- I have substance, lots of it!

+ That talking to God during the darkest days makes you braver. It’s makes so much difference to have a friend who can listen into your rants 24/7, and it makes me glad that even though many teens by my age doesn’t pray anymore, I still find a friend in him whenever I call.

+ Wearing Pink helps. I have no PhD but believe me, wearing pink makes you feel prettier! Even my boyfriend wears pink now due to my influence. lol.

+ Cutting your hair really short makes you feel bolder, younger, and healthier. I wore my hair really long last year ‘cause a) it’s for a play. b) my boyfriend wants long locks. But I believe that summer means having fun and I don’t want my hair to go along the way, so I’ve decided to cut it really short, it used to be waist length and now, it’s shoulder length. Though I still miss my long hair, I know that I’m doing my self a favor, my hair was full of damage and cutting it gave it a healthier glow.

+ Friendship knows no boundaries. I’m happy to say that before leaving my school for College next year, I established good relations with many of my teachers which made me feel more secure to leave ‘cause I know that I’ll have good memories of them with me.

+ Scrap booking can really preserve memories. Since I was 12, I wanted to start scrap booking but I only have the time and opportunity this summer, It reminds me both the happy and the darker days.

+ You’re boyfriend doesn’t have to stop being your friend the moment you’re on. That’s what I’ve learned in my relationship with my boy, whenever things go wrong; He remained as the comforting best friend I know.

SO much for my rants. See you later! Sigh..I miss him…

Irony of human nature

2007-05-22T00:35:00.000+13:00

Describe Yourself: Judge Me!

I had this pretty pink autograph which was signed by some of my grade school friends, I made each one of them signed my autograph book so that I’ll have a precious memory of how we were when we were in grade 6. I’m turning Senior few days from now, 4 years had gone by quickly-so quickly that I didn’t even see it coming.

I’ve written a couple of “Judge Mes” on some autograph books, and I wondered why I wrote “Judge me” instead of writing how I view my self- lively, pinkaholick, girly, and fun loving. I was afraid that those who’ll look at my page at the autograph will disagree- I was afraid of being judged.

Fast forward to junior year, it happened. It started long ago but I was fed up when it came all to me-all of them at one time. I don’t care who else called me a user, a flirt, a bitch. I just don’t care. I’m not asking for their opinion, anyway.

People change… not! People can change what they are but not who they are inside. Let’s face it. We all hate being judged, but admit it, we love judging other people even though we barely know them. Hindi ko alam if it’s part of human nature because few are intellectually high enough to understand well and respond well in every given situation,some are not lucky enough to have such.

Ang tao, pag pinakitaan mo ng mabuti,sasabihin plastic ka, pag pinakitaan mo ng hindi maganda, masama kang tao, period. Bakit ba laging ganun dapat ang thinking ng tao?I’ve become a victim of these judgmental people.

It’s easy kasi for them to tell na you’re a bitch/slut/flirt/user/blabber mouth or whatever they want to call you ‘cause they don’t know you. It’s rude,it’s completely rude. It’s not right to judge anyone by the way you see the person because there is so much that the eye can’t see.

No,I’m not saying this just for the sake of making patama to any one in general, I’ve forgiven those who judged me but as what I’ve said, forgetting is another thing. It’s not easy to forget what they did,what they’ve said about me,how bad they treated me, and how they made me feel.

I’m still bitter about this issue. 85% of the world’s population it already polluted with this kind of people- judgmental, narrow-minded, and awfully rude. Let’s be more transparent, Let’s aim to be the part of the remaining 15% and do the world a favor.

So what if people will start calling me a bitch, If being a bitch means being truthfully honest to myself, doing what pleases me without stepping on other people, standing up for what I believe in, and showing the world who I am really, then go ahead, call me a bitch and I won’t even care. I won’t care because this is me, Love it or loathe it-I don’t care. Love me for who I am, not for what I am. And one last thing; don’t ask me to change, neither ask me to change for YOU. Because if you can’t accept me in the first place, then you’re not worthy enough to have me by your side.

Ready to kiss summer good bye.

2007-05-20T16:15:00.000+13:00

Hey guys, I’m back. Sorry for the sudden hiatus. My freaking computer sabotaged me. I can’t even believe it. Every file was corrupted and I had to start new files to replace the corrupted ones, even my pictures were gone. I feel bad about it because many of my file were really important, like the coping mechanism folder which helped me with my depression. I wanted to keep those entries though, and now I have to scan my inbox to retrieve my files, but the worse thing is that, many of my blogskins , including some that I’ll be using for the future is gone so I have to find them again, repeat the code and start from the very beginning.

But I don’t think that it’s bad enough, because luckily, My computer is already reformatted, armed with the anti-spy ware software that Kuya Mark installed to keep my computer spy ware and virus free. So cheerios for that.

Summer Training will start tomorrow, I can’t even believe that summer’s almost over, and you know what? May always feels like Sunday before Monday. Although I’m quite excited to learn again, yet it’s a shame that it’s going to be my final year in high school already, I enjoyed high school so much, I guess. I learned to value myself more and how to keep my self intact even though there were people who tried to break me. I learned a lot from high school but I know that I will learn more from college besides, I believe that there are more transparent people when I reach college, high school is too small for everyone so people tend to step on you just to stand out, not knowing what they’re missing.

I have to go. Will blog as soon as I can. ;)

Computer Sabotage

2007-05-18T18:13:00.000+13:00

My computer sabotaged me. I can’t believe it. I can’t believe it. My important files are gone. I have no idea how the it happened. I'm still startin from scrap. will blog soon.really.

Relationships.

2007-05-12T18:31:00.000+13:00

I’m currently crazed about Joan of Arcadia, even though I’ve watched the whole season already, yet I’m still hooked and I’m still watching its season premiere at Qtv 11. It’s really ironic, of all irony of ironies, I can’t understand why every episode always hits me,big time. The thought of forgiveness was the issue on today’s episode,where Joan, thought it’s impossible to forgive his boyfriend Adam after he cheated on her. If I were in Joan’s shoes, I don’t think that I,for the sake of love, can forgive that easily. Loving and Trusting in a relationship is never easy, and it’s way harder to realize that the investment that you gave in the relationship, despite of all you efforts to make it work, will come in to a painful,heart breaking end. As what God said to Joan, sometimes we expect too much and when something happens that is probably different from what we expected, we upset ourselves.

Being in any form of relationship is never easy; we tend to spend too much time and effort to make it work because we want it to work. My best friend, Lloyd and I were talking about relationships last night, We’re both in a relationship and we’re exchanging our views about the relationships that we’ve had and our current ones… and he told me one sweet truth, that in a relationship, we’’ never know when it will end, true enough, We’ll never know. And sometimes, it’s better if we don’t know… Being in a relationship is like hiking in an unfamiliar hike site, you’ll never know which path is the best, but you’re pretty confident that you’ll make it through because you have that someone special’s hand, right by your side for you to hold. But the heck in hiking is that, you’ll never know what will happen. You might lose that person’s hand, there are many possibilities, and the other person’s hand can disappear right before you very eye, the hand who had been your strength can vanish away in a split second.

I hate to think about this because I promised my boy that he won’t hear any breakup things from me again, we’ve fought over this, and all that he’s been asking for is my faith in our relationship. I guess it’s about time for me to trust again. I’m likely the kind of person who can expect to much, I did once, ‘cause I never thought that he’ll stop loving me for a reason that until now, I don’t understand why it had happened and at that moment, all I had was my love for him but he refused it.

The experience of my heartbreak is way different from the movies, sure we fixed the damaged but it took us a long period of time to get over it. Life is not “serendipity” or “a lot like love”, it’s now the reel thing, it’s the real thing that’s happening before us. I know it would be better if our love story is all like the ones that we see in the silver screen, but life wouldn’t be that magical if that happened. Life is not a decision, it’s more of taking the right choices, and the right choices are the ones who can make you happy, the ones who can take away all the pain that you’ve been through in a single smile.

My heartbreak’s over, though a part of me still hurting, my wound over this matter has bee healed. Healing from pain is not about time, you can only be healed after you’ve decided to be cured. I believe that what we often forget to find our healing, we always wanted quick fixes, but healing takes time and decisiveness. Staying in a comfort zone will only make your wound last longer. Finding the right medication is the best thing to do, That’s what I’ve learned that I want to share with all of you.

Even if I firmly believe in forgiveness, but Forgetting is the bigger picture. It’s like writing in a black board, you can’t see the rest of the text unless you move away from it. To be honest, I’m still in the process of healing, though I’ve forgiven, Forgetting is another thing.

~Out Of Topic: To the Woman who carried my in her womb for 9 months, who raised me up for 16 years, who’s part of every picture in my life, Happy Mothers Day. My mom has no “Ph D”, nor ever an “Atty. “ right before name, but, a title isn’t a requirement to become a good mom, and I’m proud to be her daughter, her unconditional love that she continues to give me is the most sweetest treat in life. She’s been supportive through out my life and I’m really lucky to have her. She have seen me at my best and worst, and still, she loves me all the say. Now, That’s the perfect love that we’ve been looking for. Sometimes, we spend to much time looking around, not knowing that the love we’ve been looking for is right before our very eyes- the love from our mom.

Predation and All.

2007-05-11T18:29:00.000+13:00

I hate this predation thing in our ecosystem. and when I say hate, I mean it. I waited for this Pupa in my Tita’s garden to become a butterfly, only to realize that the mean ants, red ants to be exact, ate the Pupa. Sigh. It’s a shame that a butterfly-to-be was deprived of seeing the world. I thought about this over and over while eating lunch, I pity the poor creature. The caterpillar made several efforts, trying to find place for his make over, hoping that he’d be a beautiful butterfly and the mean red ants ate him while he’s inside the cocoon, leaving him defenseless and eating up every hope that he ever had.

No,I’m not turning into an Eco Girl, it’s just that similar things happen to each one of us, the situation I mean. We’re always hoping for the best, striving really damn hard for us to live, and after finding the perfect comfort zone, someone will pull us really down, leaving us as defenseless as the Pupa. Giving the situation a second look, we’re way lucky enough, way, way luckier than the Pupa because our life doesn’t end there, no red ants will take our lives but it’s us. We always end up eating every hop that we ever had because of a single mistake, a damn single mistake. We often feel bad about ourselves after our failing and we refuse to take a second chance, we refuse to leave our cocoon even if it’s already time to spread our wing like a butterfly.

The thought of the Pupa made me think of my experiences, about my dreams, my plans. I can even remember how chicken I was to face the many changes in my life, I refused to see the truth and assumed that I’d rather believe in a lie than leave out of my comfort zone. I had enough failings, which served as my struggle to become a butterfly. I wanted to stay in my own cocoon for as long as I can be there- but no, now I know I can’t. I cannot remain in my comfort zone forever, and yes, there must be a reason why a turning sweet sixteen girl like me is so giddy into seeing that pupa turns in to a butterfly only to realize that it’s dead already. Now I know. It’s not a co-accidence, it’s fate.

Maybe it’s about time for me to get out of my cocoon, maybe it’s God's way of saying that my wings are ready, maybe it’s an indication that I MUST spread my wings and fly. As what Buzz Light Year says, “To infinity and beyond”- I must, with all my might, conquer the life outside my comfort zone. It’s about time for a life changing change.

Anorexic Dreams

2007-05-08T16:38:00.000+13:00

I pray to get anorexia. I’m quite serious about it.I’ve been lonely lately, and the bitter truth is that, I eat my emotions. Aside from writing, eating is also my way of venting my emotions-whether good vibe or bad vibe and I hate it. I’ve been gulping down every edible thing that catches my eyes… and its paid off? I now have flabby arms, chubbier cheeks, and massive thighs.. and let’s not forget my waistline who grown at least 2 inches in about a month and a half. Oh my gawd.

It all started last week,I gulped down 4 bars of Choco Mucho a week ago, I started eating more rice than I should, I’m munching everything that fancies me-no,that doesn’t include munching the yumminess Piolo Pascual. And I Hate to tell you that I hate those hot,hot 5’8 Brazillian models with an amazingly flat tummy, fatless thighs, and yes, I know they’re complete Barbie dolls,waiting to be paired up by Yummy looking Ken Dolls. But No, I’m not going to exchange my eating habits with them. I won’t settle with their tomatoes-Apples or nothing Diet,I’m not desperate to do that,no yet. I love my self even if I have these massive thighs, flabby arms, and all the imperfections that I have, these imperfections can be considered as flaws but these flaws are part of me.

At the end of the day, even if I sometimes want to have anorexia, I’d rather be floppy yet healthy, rather than be one of those hot,hot anorexic, Brazilian Models. Being Floppy doesn’t make me a good or bad person, and being super skinny is so out now, excuse me but the Kate Moss look is so last season! I’m not saying that being skinny is so unsightly, (because some are lucky enough not to worry about dieting because tit’s all in the genes) What I’m trying to say is that ,we’re all beautiful any weight we are, it’s just a matter of loving yourself from the inside, if you’re not comfortable about the way you look, you are free to seek improvement but keep in my mind that you don’t have to change to please others, you have to do it for YOURSELF. You don’t have to change for some people because more people loves you for who are you and if they can’t accept you for who you are,it’s better to think twice and make a smart move if they’re for keeps or not.

Cleaning up my closet.

2007-05-06T22:11:00.000+13:00

Hello everyone! After weeks of not posting anything, here I am again. Lately I've been thinking, I'm thinking about all the memories I've had with every relationship that I've been through through out the past school year.. Relationships with my teachers,some friends, and the like.. Thinking about it makes me wonder of how much trust I invested in them, in each one of them.. and for a second thought,are they deserving enough to gain all the trust that I gave them?

After watching today's episode of Joan of Arc at Qtv 11.. I wondered why I failed to ''clean up'' after involving in a mess.. and as an added to what I've been thinking, I realized that I failed to clean up, I failed to clean my heart..The following paragraphs were consisted of some foul words,If you think you cannot, for the sake of you, handle this kind of entry, kindly hit the X button. I'm bitching my heart out and I don't care what you might think.

Bitch Mode:On.

I don't know why I'm doing this, It makes no sense anyway. Galit ako. Galit ako sa sarili ko because I'm making so much fool of myself because of this entry. I hate myself for the reason that, this mess is so outdated already, a lot already happened after this mess,but I'm still hurting. I'm hurting not because of the mess,but because of the people who created their own perception of who I am..

I'm not a perfect person, I have my own disabilities, too. I can't change who I am for the sake of you because just to remind you, I'm not born to please you, Hindi ako pinaganak upang pasayahin kayo. I'm sick and tired of hearing so much from you, of your sick concerns,that is. I don't know why we kept on resurrecting this sick issue once and for all, you should've learn to let it pass, but you didn't. You didn't because you're holding every freaking "faults" that I did, but you know what? If we're going to sum up all your faults and my faults, You impaired me more, Your judgment destabilized me more. I never stepped on anyone's feet to begin with, so I can't understand why you're making me do this. Hindi naman issue dito kung sino ang mas nagbigay, and issue dito is that, I tried so hard to make you understand me that way that I deserve to be understood, but you can't.

No, I'm not saying this para malaman nyo what you've caused me, I'm doing this to free myself from all the hurting that you've caused me. Nasaktan ako at galit ako dahil sinaktan mo ako.Galit ako dahil pinipilit mo akong magbago para i-please ka, you want me to reconstruct my whole being for you own sake, for the sake na ma-please kita. Well, for your information, you're not God. I won't change just to please you.This is me. Hate me or Love me,I don't care. Kung gusto ko mang magbago, gagawin ko yun para sa sarili ko, hindi para sa'yo. You want me to open up to you whenever I'll have problems, pero did you ever care? Pinakikinggan mo ba ako? And when I shared my problems with you, diba you required me na sundin yun? Humingi ako ng advice dahil kailangan ko ng point of view, hindi para humingi ng instruction from you because this is my life, MY LIFE, not yours.

I won't say sorry kung nasaktan man kita sa mga sinabi ko dahil sinabi ko ang mga bagay na ‘to to stop you from leading my life, if want to a part of my life, I'm not rejecting you, just remember na you're the passenger and I'm the driver. I know you deserve to be heard pero If you're really brave, sabihin mo lahat ng maling nakikita mo sakin to my face, not behind my back. I'm tired of being stabbed by you. I'm tired of blaming myself when I know that all along,you're a part of this mess.

Bitch Mode:Off.

Last Hirit, if showing who I really am to you,even my bad and good side is quoted to "as being a bitch",Then I'm proud to be one. I'm tired of people who hates me for being transparent, this is me, love it or hate it, I don't care, I'm not asking for your opinion anyway.

Confessed it all to Mom

2007-04-25T19:25:00.000+13:00

Recently, I've committed myself into a relationship. It's not your typical boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, it's completely the other way around, it'll make you even flip. I was reluctant to tell my mom about the relationship, as reluctant I was into jumping into this kind of relationship. Even if I'm just 15, I'm afraid to be in this kind of liaison kasi I know, bata pa ako and things can go wrong when you're in love at such young age. My first concern is that, being immature, many things can happen. The stings of breakups, less freedom, always having to bother about being a decent girlfriend, and most of all, the destruction it can possibly bring me. I was afraid na baka hindi ko ma-handle lahat yan but what those fears disappeared when I heard the advice of a really close friend,even if our age gap is more than 10 years, her words made so much difference. According to her, It's normal to get involved in this kind of relationship at my age and she's glad that I'm making little steps instead of a big leap that I might be regretting in the end. So I gathered up all my courage and committed myself. Then, the second stop is my mom.After conquering my fears, My mom is the next on my list. I can't stand all the sneaking in and I don't want to hide our relationship with my parents. Even if I know that they might disapprove, I still dared to tell my mom about my boyfriend. I respect my mom enough,and I don't want to sneak behind her back. Moreover, my mom trusts me so much and I don't want to break her trust and mostly, her heart. So I told her about it, at first, she's not all praises for our relationship but she told me that She trusts me, She said that She knows that I’m not that kind of girl who acts before thinking and those words were enough to make me cry out of happiness. It turns out that my mom is completely different from how I thought she was. I didn’t know that she trusts me so much. Of course, my mom is also afraid that I’ might get busted and get pregnant but the good thing is, my mom believes in me so much that she knows that from the way she raised me up, I’ll be reserved until the night of my wedding.

Because of my confession to mom, my respect for her grew firmer. I don’t even want to bring her down. I realized that I’m really lucky to have a trusting mom like her. If you’re going to ask me if I’ll trade my mom for Oprah Winfrey, Well, Hell no! Sure, Oprah is my idol but still, there’s no mom like MY mom. Just like what Harriet Beecher Stowe said, “Most mothers are instinctive philosophers.” And I’m glad that my mom is one of those instinctive philosophers around and I won’t trade her, not even for Oprah Winfrey or Audrey Hepburn.

A second thought...

2007-04-17T18:10:00.001+13:00

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall."—Confucius

I've had my fair share of heart breaks, and I've broken some hearts, too. Last year, I also wrote a blog entry about love, loving, and getting hurt. I know this is just the "Painful past" but I believe that I have to write about this, I went through that phase for a reason, and I believe that THIS is the reason. Therefore, here's my story..

A few weeks before that Saturday, We've fighting a lot, we're having problems but I never thought that something such as what happened will actually take place... and so, I gathered every ounce of courage left in my system, I called him, I don't want to detail everything but next thing I know is that my heart was bleeding because of what he said. I ended up crying my heart out, not minding how anxious my mom is... For nearly a month, I tried to live with out him but the painful truth is, I'm still searching for the blade who made my heart bleed. I tried my best to look happy, to look fine but things just got even sourer. It was only then that I realized that the kindest thing that I can do for myself is to accept what happened, and I kept on praying to God for my healing and he did. I never questioned God when I went through that kind of hurting. After nearly a month, while talking on the phone with him, he said those magic words that replenished all the hurting that he caused me, and the rest is history.

What I'm trying to say is that, When you're in a heart break just like what I went through, Don't even question God. He pushed you out of your comfort zone because he wants you to become stronger. It's even stated that "I love you just that way you are, but I love you so much that I can't bear to see you that way-God". Once in our lives, we must become poor souls to be able to see how blessed we are, we need to become needy so that we'll see God's grace. When we pray, we often ask God for good grades, a better love life, and the like but for a second thought, have we ever thanked God for all the luxuries that he’s been giving us? Moreover, why do we always have to ask for more when we have enough? WHY CAN’T WE THANK GOD ENOUGH?

The bottom line is,we always wanted to live a carefree life, we search for the perfect life but what we fail to see is that we can never have everything at the same time, we must learn how to work hard for it. It's not because we're lucky enough, It's because we deserve it. Think about those hearts that we've broken in the past.. think about those who broke our heart.. I guess it's the right time to reflect. Even if Holy week's over, we still have 7 weeks to reflect. Think, reflect, and decide. Who knows,maybe you still have a bruise in your heart that isn't healing correctly.

And to those that I've hurted, to those hearts that I've broken.. I'm sorry for all the pain that I brought you. I'm praying for your quick healing.

A second thought...

2007-04-17T18:10:00.000+13:00

Start of something new

2007-04-10T02:03:00.000+13:00

After 10 months of lack of proper sleep, nerve-wracking stress days, long nights of newspaper editing, quizzes, and other irrelevant school works that made my year really brain damaging… My junior year is finally over and I'm really thankful. This coming Saturday, we'll be having our Recognition day and yes, after that, Junior year is officially over. I believe that the previous school year really played a big part in my growth as a person. The year really knocked me out-emotionally, physically, and mentally. I did not able to surpass my grade last year bit I would say, This year is really better. Much better that my sophomore year. Here are some of the things that will prove that Junior year is way, way better yet much, much meaner that my sophomore year.

Pros of Junior:

+ I learned to play Basketball and Volley ball from the heart. The best thing about it is that aside from learning I've realized that it would really pay off if I'll kiss my girly-girl attitude good bye not because I wasn't a good person because of it yet, My cow girl attitude will bring me to more beautiful places.

+I learned to appreciate myself more. Gone are the days that I'll be frustrated because I don't think I'm good enough. I've learned that the best way to appreciate you life is to love yourself , seek improvement,and to see the brighter side of things rather than the gloomy ones.

+ I taught my self to be more independent. My talks with Ate Jho, (my TLE teacher) surely made me stronger. She taught me to listen to my heart, not in what others might say. When the issue came, many people judged me even if they don't know the story. Many people labeled me as a user even if they weren't even involved in the issue and sad to say, mostly, those people who thought of me that way are mostly those that I also THOUGHT I can trust.

+ I became stronger. I have been hurt more than once in the past year. Many caused me so much pain, emotionally. The cut that they made is so deep that even until now, I'm still bleeding but I couldn't care less. I just don't care. I know that I didn't stepped on any body, I never mean to hurt anyone even if I did hurt them.

+My relationship in God grew stronger. Ever since the problems surfaced me, I've never gone astray hope with God because I firmly believe that God gave me problems because He knows very well that I'll make it through, and I'm proud that I've never questioned him during the time of my pain.

+ I've made my most principle-breaking yet surely biggest and bravest decision I've ever done- to get involved in a relationship with my best friend. He's been courting me for as long as I could remember and He was able to gain my trust. Even if he's already my boyfriend now, Still He continues to be my best friend. And even many people gave me their "I object" treatment to show me their opinions, I just don't care. My mom didn't even disapproved, Ate Jho,a teacher even encouraged me to take this hard decision so why would they have to act that why, right? Very, very mean, really.

And of course, we have the cons of Junior:

+Lack of Sleep.
+Stress.
+Pressure.
+No Ma'am Tin-Tin.
+People who are judging me even if they are not even asked to give their cynical opinions.

As a closure in my entry, the sweetest part of my life now is actually being contented to my life even if I still want to have more enhancements in my life. I still want to go in a good university; I want to finish high school with flying colors and the like. Even if I have fewer friends to trust now, I believe that this is much better than to have a bunch of blood-sucking people right beside you. ;)

Yes,I'm Back.

2007-03-25T20:53:00.000+13:00

You've read it right,I'm back after my blog leave. I've been really busy and as far as I know,and as far a I'm concerned, I want to catch a full 10 hour sleep.

Gusto nyo bang malaman kung anong nangyari saken sa aking blog leave?Maraming kaguluhan at walang kabuluhang kadailiman. Explanation later. I can't bear with my thoughts right know.

I'm finally making paramdam..

2007-02-04T21:17:00.000+12:00

After my so old entry,I'm actually ,giving my excuse.

unhappy camper

2007-01-20T00:46:00.000+12:00

Hello everyone! I know a lot of you must've wondered what the well happened to me..Oh well,I'm currently busy with all my commitments and my tight schedule but don't sweat,I'm used to it. Nyhahaha. It's no longer an new thing to me..On January 22-26,I'm going to Pulilan,Bulacan for my provincial camping..I;m not really excited about it but merely,I'm quite..sort of unhappy. I don't want to miss classes since it is really hard to go with the flow when you miss a single discussion..Sigh..but unfortunately,someone really close to my heart urged me to join ot add spice in my already dramatic life so I have no choice but to go and sip in a new scenery..anyway,tc!

New Year,Better Me

2007-01-01T22:47:00.000+12:00

Just posted to say high and greet you a happy new year.Well,For this year I have no new year's resolution yet,I plan to be a better person.I aim to have a better Jenny.I had been blessed last year and I believe this is the right time to be a blessing to others as well. :)

Better Late than Never ;)

2006-12-26T15:29:00.000+12:00

Hola,encatados,encantadas! Como Estas?

After a month of not posting a single entry-I'm Back.OKay I know you guys must be wondering kung what the well happened to me. Well,Okay.Sige na,let me spread the Chismax.

Ayun,I've been really busy during the past month,finishing the 2nd issue of the Immaculata,our school's official publication then after that,periodical tests were already draining my brain so I didn't gain any oppotunity to write then,I got my right ear operated because I have a cyst in my right ear,yes,actually, this is my second operation this year.Actually, Still,my ear hurts but I don't want to stay in bed for fear of gaining weight.hahahaha.

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Nop,eMy blog entry doesn't end hear,haler,this is my moment to make chismis nga diba.don't stop me okay?

OKay.You guys must be wondering kung ano ang natanggap ko last Christmas.Well,the usuals, but you know what,The Greatest Christmas gift from Santa will always be my Family,Friends and him.

Okay,so sino yung him?!

This is actually the first time that I'm talking to my blog about him..

I met him last July through a common organization that we joined.He's a batch ahead of me yet we mix in nicely. :) Since then,We text each other often and eventually,I fell deeply for him.

He has everything that I want..He's sweet,smart and yet he can handle my mood swings..A lot of people has been asking na nga kung kami na..so sasabihin ko na..

HINDI PA! :P

we want to focus more on our studies kaya we won't pursue with the realitionship muna.. :)

XOXO>Tinatawaga na ako ni mommy,inom pa daw ako ng gamot. :)

Sweet SMS

2006-11-26T11:51:00.000+12:00

it is wrong to hate all the roses because you got scratched with one thorn
to give up on your dreams because one didn't came true
to loose faith in prayers because one was not answered
tp give up on your efforts because one of them failedto condemn all your friends because one betrayed you
to not believe in love because someone was not unfaithful or didn't love you back
to throw away all chances to be happy because you didn't succeed on the first attempt

That SMS was sent to me my Clavin,one of my closest friends and thinking that it was a gm,I reead it and to my surprise I was like, "hey,parang ako yun ah?" I'm always like-I often ended up giving up and forgetting my goals just because I failed once,just because one of dreams didn't came true. :(

Sad.but true.I'm a go getter but when I fail,I often sulk in a corner.Maybe,This SMS is a sign from God-maybe he wants me to keep on pushing my self to the limit until I reach my dreams.Maybe I should be more optimistic and despite of what I might get through-I shall never loose faith again in prayers. :)

unsightly.

2006-11-23T22:58:00.000+12:00

AYun.for sure, before magend ang month ng november eh naka simangot na naman ako to the max. :(

You wanna know why??

Dahil kuhanan na naman ng Card.kamusta naman yun.Syempre mega lamon na naman ng self esteem at mega panira na naman nh buhay ang results ng card ko.

Dear Trigo,
bakit ka ba ganyan?Halos mag explode na ang utak ko dahil sa dami ng kalandian mo sa buhay na cosine,tangent,cotangent,secant,cosecant at kung ano ano pang formula na hindi ko naman alam kung para saan pero ayan ka na naman,kulang na lang ay i-saute mo ang utak ko sa kumukulong mantika at paduguin mo ang ilong ko kakasolve sa napaka-nose bleeding na problems na ewan ko kung pano nabuo.hindi ka ba kuntento sa unti unting pagpatay sa brain ko?Ano pa bang gusto mong manyari?Ang mag suicide ako sa hirap na dinadanas ko syo?Ano bang gusto mo?Si Irah?Iyong iyo na,tigilan mo lang ako. :(

Dear Christmas break,
Sana dumating ka na.tulungan mo akong takasan ang malupit na galamt ng Trigo at Chem.Tulungan mo akong tumakas please! at sana,maisipan mo munang hirapin ang sleigh ni Santa para mapabilis na ang pag dating mo.I don't care kahit late na mabigay ang gifts besides,I han't been nice kaya di ako excited sa gift from santa.Ayun.

Ayun.Go Jen.takbo pa.

What now?

2006-11-20T23:39:00.000+12:00

Hello everyone. I'm still busy because I have to do a 360 degree cramming period just to pass it and hit the deadline.How desperate is that? Aside from that,In less tha 5 months I will also experience some brain freezing exams for my college entrance test and the good news is,I still have no idea where to study for college or when shall I stay while I'm studying for college.

So super duper good luck naman for my future kung meron man.Kamusta naman ang pagka patapon ko?

Look who's back!

2006-11-11T21:19:00.000+12:00

After 5 days straight of no blogging,no takas and no long internet sessions I'm back!I'm actually quite happy about my acadamics' status since I already attained 2 perfect seatworks from Chem and one from trigo! I know,know It's really mababaw but I guess more hard work (and sacrifice) I'll finally have good grades that I've been wishing for isnce my so called first day high. :)

Last friday something unsual happened to me.My former biology teacher,Sir Tony made chismis to me.Seriously,We chatted for like,3 minutes about Irah and me. He told me if I'm happy about Irah and of course,I told him I do since I'm really happy with Irah.(Stop imagining things,reader.He's not my boyfriend.Not yet.)

SO there..I can't really blog about anything that's really substantial but believe me guys,I've realized a lot of things since monday.Let me tell you how malas I am this week..

Monday-I came home at 9pm and I was asked to write a 750 word essay about my organization.
Tuesday-I came to school at around810 despite of the fact that I slept at around 12mn the other day and woke up 430 am the next day to do the essay.
Wenesday-nothing much.
Thursday-a head knocking brain damaging reaction paper.
Friday-I hate this day.I'm not talking about it. not even a single kwento.That is the most f*cking day that I ever lived.

So....That's how my week had been.But I love life. I love my life. (of course,I'm just kidding!)

Goodbye,Sembreak

2006-11-05T16:39:00.000+12:00

Today is the last day of my beloved sembreak,despite of the fact that I still don't want to go to school,I'd rather go than learn nothing.

SO ayun,balik school na naman ako.Balik puyatan,stress at pagod.Pakiramdam ko din papatayin na ako ni si Jhun dahil sa Immaculata.Shocks..Ano bang gagawin ko sa buhay ko?Grabe talaga,Hindi ko na alam gagawin ko as in.Hindi ko na talaga alam.

Nahihilo na naman ako sa mga nangyayari at sa mga pwedeng mangyari..ano ba kasing tinira ko at nakapag sulat ako ng up lifting na entry na hindi ko naman alam kung kaya ko talaga panindigan..I mean,Hallerness! Nasasabi ko lang na kaya ko pag wala pang problema,Pano yan...meron na ngayon!

Hay naku,ewan ko ba.Good luck na lng sakin. :P

Life is tough...

2006-11-02T18:42:00.000+12:00

...but I am TOUGHER.

To tell you honestly,I'm not all optimistic,somewhere inside me a bucket of Pesimissim live on..I'm always like that I randomly think about nice things because I was surrounded by negative events.. but finally,I've realized the meaning of my failure. I've realized why God let me down.It's because he wants to see me trying-trying harder to achieve my goals.

The Harder you fall,The higher you bounce..right?

I guess that this is the right time for me to learn from my mistakes,Iguess that enough is enough. Maybe I should go beyond and strip off my limits,Maybe it's the right time for me to attest my capabilities. Maybe I should learn to risk harder-and survive longer.

No one can stop you from reaching your dreams-Dae Jang Guem

Yes,No one can stop us from reaching our dreams and our biggest competitor is our own self. I've realized my mission-I guess God wants me to fail,not to sulk in a corner but to fail and prove that I'm way tougher than the problems that I went through.

I'm no longer afraid of falling or committing another mistakes again,From now on I will use my past mistakes as an instrument towards my goals.from now on,I'll try my best to believe harder..
...Isn't it ironic? I was thinking of blogging about something else..

New Layout,New Life

2006-10-31T14:40:00.001+12:00

After some series of re-designing,html editing and other process that I went through for my new layout finally,the new face of my blog is here!

My blog,http://jennysassy78.blogspot.com has a new concept;it is actually sharing myself to my readers my true self,(who actually just bloghopped.lol) that is why it is entitled "The Real Me".I often put a facade,writing entries like I'm fine despite of the friggin' fact that the word "sadness" is scribbled all over my forehead.I've decided to be a little nicer to my self,I'm going to be more transparent towards my feelings this time.I'd rather get hated(again) for who I am than swallow my dignity just because of those people who bash me because of my opinions.

Out of Nothingness,I've realized that pretending won't do me any good and maybe,I'll be happier if I can finally shout out my feelings to the world wide web.I promise to be more transparent.Besides,I'm tired of pretending to be someone else just for the sake of peace.

I guess that a little care before spilling is what I need..and isn't it ironic? I realized it before sem break started,in the middle of my cramming session.I know I can be pretty weird sometimes but don't worry,I don't bite. =)

As a whole,This concept is the fruit of my desires to make my dreams come true.From now on,In every step I take, in every decision I make I will never consider what other may think about me.I don't need to please all of you,I just have to please God and no matter how hard they try they can never bring me down again.

"No one can make you Inferior without your consent."

Loving-Hating Sembreak

2006-10-30T16:02:00.000+12:00

Hello everyone,Halloween's Around the Corner!

I thought I would enjoy my sembreak. Sigh.Of course,finally after 4 months of being mentally harassed because of projects,homeworks,paper works and other school requirments and finally,I'm living with out stress..how cool is that?

Oh well.Anyway,I guess I must enjoy this 9-day vacation of ours since November will be a stressful month for me. Ta-ta. :)

New Face of http://Jennysassy78.blogspot.com

2006-10-26T23:35:00.000+13:00

Hello everyone!Yup,I'm still alive. :)
This is going to be a long post... My exams are done and fortunately,I'm still alive and despite of the fact that I wasn't able to review for Social,I still managed to pass the test. I got 59/70.Weird.So weird.

Anyway,I'm planning to have a big change for my blog but I won't spill the details yet.I'll finish it before the sembreak ends.Tc!mwah!

Busy Week Ahead

2006-10-21T15:29:00.000+13:00

I'm gonna be so damn busy but promise I'll update after the exams. Mwah!

Not So Patapon me.

2006-10-17T02:07:00.000+13:00

I was able to be one of the finalist of the Social Studies Quiz bee..Pray for me!Will update soon,promise!

I'm posting..

2006-10-15T21:25:00.000+13:00

..Dropped by to say Hi.I'm still alive. ;)

Aftermath

2006-10-08T17:12:00.000+13:00

Yup.Nakuha na ang card last friday.You wanna know where my shitty card is?Ayun,Sitting in my desk,inaamag na.Besides,Who would want to see eh isang malaking 77 naman sa trigo ang makikita mo dun.Kamusta naman yun di ba?

O hwell. whatever,Never mind that.I guess,I'm through with it.oh yeah. :p

Happy Birthday to Nimfa Yesterday(Oct.7)

Reflexiones de mas alla

2006-10-06T23:46:00.000+13:00

Reflections From Beyond.That's the English Translation of my blog title.(It was actually Spanish.For give me for my barok Span. Vocab. )

Today is the dreaded sabog day of my life-the distribution of cards.Sigh.Last night I was talking to Irah and I was already cying because of my grades.I was pissed off-pissed off because I knew what I did over the first quarter-I didn't took it seriously so I was really freaking out-Afraid of what it can do to my future,to my life.I was freaking out,I was hating every fiber of my being because of what I did and so when I saw my report card....

I was like,no way,Shut up! My lowest grade is..77(Trigo)! :)

I have 3 7s, Trigo,Chem and English.

I can now finally breathe.Yeah.Nothing can stop me from reaching my dreams.Despite of the fact that even some of my close friends look at me from someone that is not really me, I can say at least that I survived. :)

I know why God gave me problems.He wants me to be stong.He wants me to see my life in a new view. I will.I will soon. ;)

Priorities?Where can I download those?

2006-10-05T01:35:00.000+13:00

http://www.geocities.com/jonbenet_1990/jbmain.html check out this site before reading this 100% nonsensical post of mine.

Hello,I would like to introduce myself first.My name's Jenny and I've had a shitload uber low grades.I'm truly busted because the distribution of cards will be on Friday and I have this shitload negative feeling that I might have a red,yes a bloody red mark waiting for me for my grade in Trigo and Math.How sucky is that? So sucky that I'm starting to feel shitty.Useless-Plain useless. If your going to ask me about my priorities,please don't because as fas as I know,I had them before, 6 months ago-before entring this Gladiator Life in 3rd year.

Anyway,If I can describe my self in just a word that would be Patapon. why? Because my life is a mess,my priorities are gone and I have no idea how I'm going to survive.Okay,So is that sucky enough? My life's a mess,I no longer have dreams,I no longer have priorties. I'm afraid to flunk but As I can see,I'm somewhere near in Failing and Sucking.If this is m fate,Well,I would say I don't have any clear picture of a good future.I gues I have to kiss my USTET dream goodbye.Goodbye,Dreams.I guess I have to shut up now.

Yes,I'm failing.I'm so patapon and the funny thing is that-I have no idea how to rise again.

"What we do in life echoes in Eternity"-Gladiator

Lil Jenny and Hell week

2006-09-26T01:19:00.000+13:00

4 days to go and I'm off-Liyab Season is here once more.you wanna know how stressful my life is?

Sept.26-Cram Season
Sept 27&28-Monthly Exams
Sept. 29&30-Liyab Seminar

In Addition to that,My Lil Cousin/Carbon Copy will be celebrating her birthday on the 28th!

Yup,She's smart,She's sassy and She's very me-sans the pessimistic side.She's very bubbly and I can't get enough of her kakulitan!

This was taken last year before I went to Tanay for my 3day camping! ;)

She's turning 4 already.time really passes by quickly.She's 4 and She's as kikay as I am-Whenever She sees me doing my ritual or sunblock-powder-lip gloss routine She tells me that I'm maarte and yet she wants to apply my lip gloss as a cheek tint!lol.talk about weirdness. Whenever Irah and I talk over the phone,She snatches away the receiver and She tries to talk to Irah as if they are in the same age.

She's actually a clear picture of who I was as a Kid.She's a clear reminder of how maarte I was(until now,actually) how vain I was and most of all,She's one of the reasons why I keep on fighting even if all this time,I really want to give up. but seeing her smile or laugh makes me want to fight even more-it pushes me to the limit,to break free.

If ever that She'll have the chance to read this blog I just hope that She won't commit tha same mistakes that I've done so in the past.I just hope that when She turns into a young Lady,She'll be a smart one-a kick ass one.

I guess,Mika will be my carbon copy forever or perhaps,The little sister that I never had. :) As far as I know,I'm going to protect her as long as I can. :)

Kisses!Mwah for everyone!

10 rules :)

2006-09-24T18:30:00.000+13:00

The 10 Rules:

1. Don't ask her to be feminine

2. Don't let her drink over three glasses

3. Drink coffee instead of Coke/Juice

4. If she hits you, act like it hurts. If it hurts, act like it doesn't

5. On your 100th day together, give her a rose during her class

6. Make sure you learn fencing and squash

7. Be prepared to go to prison sometimes

8. If she says she'll kill you, don't take it lightly

9. If her feet hurt, exchange shoes with her

10. She likes to write. Encourage her

I wanna watch MY SASSY GIRL again.I wonder why. by the way,I'm fine na po. ;) Forget my emo entry yesterday(Personal blog) ;)

http://www.foxhome.com/soundofmusic/ check out this site: It reminded me of the Sound of Music Feeling and all of sudden,I wanna sing the hills are alive once more! hahahaha..

Hafta go now.Don't expect me to update.I'm damn busy. :P TC!Kisses! Mwah!

NerveWacking Truths

2006-09-21T23:58:00.000+13:00

I hate me. I hate me.I hate me. Guess who got a freaking 7 in English subject? Okay,Itago natin sya sa pangalan na Jennylyn Suguitan ng Our Lady of Rosary Secret lang yun ha?lol.
Someone will walk up in your life and will make you realize why it didn't work out with someone else.That's a sweet truth.True enough. I'm browsing my old blog and to my surprise...

We often ignore chainletters or other bulletins but this made a difference.It survived my queer eye and it pierced my heart.This bulletin made me realize how God works in mysterious ways.God,Mahal ko ba talaga siya?I really love him,but this fight made me think twice on what i feel for him,kung sya talga.It's just that I still think i do but i hate him cuz I can never hate him too much.Ang gulo 'no? Magkagalit kme.un lng un.Good bye na nga ba sa sound of musi ver 2.0 story?Kala ko ba mahal nya ako?Bakit di ko yung nararamdaman?

at sinabi ko pala yan?Aba,At ganun pala ang naramdaman ko. Parang ayoko atang maniwala.Ang lakas pala ng fighting spirit ko.

At ako din pala ang nagsulat nito?

The SET UP:A peaceful place were wecan talk together. hopefully,with his friends and my friends..
THE MUSIC any Love songs,those types that can make you feel so inlove when infact you're not.those types na meaningful.. :)
The Guy I don't need a prefect guy and i don't want a perfect guy,I just need a guy who can accept my imperfections.The one who can defend me and can fight for me,the guy who can make me smile,the one who can understand me.

go jen! grabe.ang lupet ng mga banat ko nun ah.you know what?I can't believe it. I can't believe how many times I spent my tears to him.Sigh.

The Perfect Word

2006-09-18T00:21:00.000+13:00

optimistic pessimist . How very me.. 365 days ago I went home soaking wet,the tips of my jeans soaking wet and yet I'm still excited about that whole rollercoaster ride that I had in PNU, 365 days had gone by but, still that feeling still lingers in my heart.I told you.i'm an optimistic pessimist.I used to think that I'm different,that there's something in me that separates me from everyone else..but one sunny morning..I woke up and realized that I'm just like everyone else. I don't know why things like this often happens when I'm like,entering a major contest and I should be like, Optimistic but no matter how hard I try,I'm can't light my own path. Earth to Jenny:You're supposed to be Super Girl!You can't feel bad! Jenny to Earth: Yeah Right. Go to Hell! lol. I don't know. I really don't know. ..so help me God.

http://blossom.nu

http://blossom.nu

http://blossom.nu

http://blossom.nu
Will be needing your prayers.

Fore veryone who cares..

2006-09-14T23:16:00.000+13:00

Thanks you so much! I'm okay now, We're okay now. :)

Special Thanks to my F.r.E.n.D.z. -Erika,Mich,Belle,Hannah, and Apeh..thank you so much for standing by my side..

For Girl Friend: Thank you for trying to make me feel better..
I can't mention all of you but thank you for caring..Love you all! A big Mwah here from me!

YFC tomorrow! Can't wait! :)

2006-09-11T00:53:00.000+13:00

"Naaalala mo pa ba nung tayo'y magkasama pa
Iyong sinabi't pinangako na nalimot mo na siya
At kahit naglaho ka na muling sumama sa kanya
Sa aking puso ay ikaw pa rin,
~~ikaw pa rin~~ "

So what's up with the "Ikaw Pa rin" Lyrics staring back at you? Oh well. Don't get me wrong.I just can't hold it inside.I just can't help it.

There's a guy and he met this girl .this girl loves another guy and another guy loves this girl yet he can't show it. This girl got tired of waiting and she fell in love w/ the guy. The guy loves this girl but suddenly he's like,falling for another girl and another girl is like ,unaware of it This girl acts like nothing's wrong as if everything's fine as if it's not hurting her big time .As if it's not shattering her heart into tiny pieces .and this girl is staring back at her PC,wanting to cry and she's trying so hard to hold back the tears.

Akala ko,okay kami.Hind pala. Maybe I'm just over reacting, maybe may pagkukulang ako.I'm trying my best to smile, to forget what might happen in the future,to act like it's not hurting me. Don't judge him, It's not his fault and besides,He already suffered much because of me, He already sacrificed because of me. Despite of how many chances that I have over the girl, I am willing to set him free because I believe that He deserves to be happy...I believe that He deserves the girl-and the girl deserves him.
I love him, I do but If He's no longer happy I'd rather get hurt than hurt him. Maybe you're asking why I'm not going to fight for him... I won't even if I want to. I don't want to be unfair to him. I want him to be happy.I might sound like a total martyr but this is the only way that I can thank him enough for loving me. Sigh.

*It's just that I'm so weird that I used to tell myself that It's okay if ever that He'll find someone else and Now that it seems that he did,I'm here,hurting inside.

Super Girl For Christ :)

2006-09-09T14:16:00.000+13:00

Hello everyone!

Me and My Gorgeous Fr.E.n.D.z. joined the YFC or (Youth For Christ) and We already love their approach!I so love MMK's episode last night!So Kilig!Yup,It's really weird na someone like me would actually love happy endings and sweet surprises!

Siga na nga,Here's my top 5 favorite kilig moments na napanood ko!

1)My Sassy Girl-Binigyan ni Gyeon Woo yung Girl ng rose sa Piano Recital nung girl!
2)MMK-may banner yung guy for the girl na naka lagay i love you.
3)French Movie ata un-in front of the crowd nilagay lumuhod yung guys w/ matching rose at binigyan nya ng ring yung girl.
4)Kim Sam Soon-nung 100 days na silang magkakilala binigyan ni Cyrus si Sam Soon ng rose tas sabi nya "Thank you for coming into my life!"
5)Full House-Pinagtanggol ni Justin Si Jesse

magiisip pa ako tas sasabihin ko sa inyo.sorry sa walang kwentang post na toh.masama kasi loob ko.. :(

So Long,Farewell!

2006-09-03T19:17:00.000+13:00

Hi everyone! I just dropped by to let you know that that I'm still alive. I've been so busy lately and besides,I don't really feel good. I get easily sick lately.(maybe because of lack of proper sleep) and in addition to that I seriously want to give up and avoid everyone. Someone from my school has been creating rumors about me and my guy best friend.I'm not getting mad or affected becuase it is true because God knows that it is not true. It's just that it started since I was in first year and now that I'm already in 3rd year those rumors just turned out to be the worst rumor ever.Sigh.

I wonder why do some people create nasty things about someone else and If you try to deny it then you're being defensive.If you keep quite that means you are guilty. I think it is completely unfair.SO UNFAIR!

I'm not actually posting this entry not only because of the issues about me but this is also because of the issues circulating about my good friends.I mean, why do these nasty persons keeps on creating rumors just for the sake of bring us down when they don't know any better? Why can't they shut up for theirselves and live their on lives.mess up w/ their own lives, not w/ ours. or much better,GET A LIFE

Take this as a warning but someone up there knows that you are actually trying to bring us down.I'm not saying this to anyone particular but for Heaven's sake! Hindi po kami artista kaya hindi kayo kikita sa pag gawa ng gossips about us ~~but we do accept autograph signing~~ if you want to. ;)

So to close this issue please stop it. It's not funny. It's so annoying.Hindi dahil some of you finds me a princess-princessy girl eh I'll sut up na. I know how to speak up for myself so if you're going to continue those chismis that you keep on making I swear I'm going to post a huge picture of yours and send it to the MILF so they'll kidnap you and you're gonna shut up na forvever.

That's all.Thankyouverymuch. Yes,This the NICEST way.ito na yon.

Ang Pagbabalik ni Super Jenny ;)

2006-08-26T18:28:00.000+13:00

Mga mambabasa,ang inyong paghihintay ay tapos na.Matapos ang isang buong linggo na hindi ako nagupdate,nakakatuwang isipin na may nakamiss sakin.ewan ko nga ba kung bakit pero bigla na lang akong tinamad na magkwento sapagkat wala namang significant events na nangyayari sa buhay ko lately.

Ngunit ngayon ay natagpuan ko na muli ang akong writing muse.Salamat talaga kay Paurong at kay Pot Pot sapagkat ginanahan na ulit akong magblog.Salamt sa inyong dalawa.

Sa totoo lang,isa din sa dahilan ng aking pagkawala ay naging abala ako.

May magandang balita nga pala ako,nanalo ang aming pangkat sa sabayang pagawit!

Sa ngayon ay adik na adik ako sa kantang "stars" ng Callalily, Hands Down,Ang Ganda nung song sobra.

Kung tatanungin nyo ang estado ng Lablyp ko isang malaking no comment ang isasampal ko sa inyo no! Behlat!

Exams na this week. Adik mode muna ako.Sa wakas.Mukhang Malalampasan ko ang pamumuhay ko sa estado ng Grade 9.Hanep.Ang galing mo,Jen. :P

Ngarag na Linggo

2006-08-19T15:15:00.000+13:00

Ako'y Lubhang naging abala ngayong Linggo sa pagkat kami ay nage-ensayo para sa aming lingo ng wika. Kakanta kami ng Ako'y isang pinoy. Kamusta nama un diba?

Nawawalan na ako ng ganang magblog. :(

Madugong Byernes

2006-08-12T10:45:00.000+13:00

Hallur Sa inyo,Mga mangbabasa. Grabe.grabe talaga. Kahapon ay nagkaroon kami ng sunod-sunod na pagsusulit.Isa sa CHemistry,Isa sa English at isa sa Geometry.Pamatay talaga,Lalo na yung echusang Geomtry,ang dali,ang daling hulaan sobra! :P

Sa aking tanang buhay nun araw lang na yun ako nakaencounter ng lubos na sakit ng ulo na nagstart noong alastres na at di na yon nawala pa hanggang kagabi,bago ako matulog. Ayos no?

Grabe talaga. Lubos na nakakaigh ang aking araw kahapon.

Partida ha,nagpractice pa kami at nag fashion show lang naman ako with the rain,speaking of rain and aking friend na si Rhaina(tin-tin) ay nag freakout dahil akala niya ay nawala nya ang kanyang player,Kamusta naman?!

Kaya sumugod kami ni Michael with matching payong.Muntik pa nga akong madulas sa putik dahil ang harot ni Michael.Tsk,tsk.Ililubog kita sa mudpie.

Ang kulit talaga nya kaay ayun,nabasa kami at infairness,ang bigat nung player ha!Kahit di ako yung magbuhat.

At for Sir Nars,Kahapon kasi at nakasimangot ako at bigla nyang sinabi na dapat daw ay lagi akong ngumiti para di umulan..uhhmm,,anung konek ng pagngiti ko sa araw at sa ulan?

Kayo sir ha.Babiness yan ha.Bwahahahaha!

Ang kulit ko ba? :P

Anak ng Tinapa, May Hangover ako Mula sa Sukob!

2006-08-06T20:12:00.000+13:00

Ako'y narito na naman upang guluhin ang inyong matitinong buhay. Nabanggit ko kahapon na monnod kami ni Mommy ng Sokob,Natuloy kami ngunit hanggan ngayon ay hindi mawala ang kaba ko pag naiisip ko yung muka nung multong flower girl.

www.sukobthemovie.com

bisitahin nyo!

Ako'y stressed parin at kahit ako'y may sakit, good luck na lang samin ni Erika.

Wala namang ibang pangyayari sa akin,patuloy parin ang aking buhay.Ako'y masaya kay Superman kaya't sana naman ay maging maayos na ang lahat.Labis parin talaga akong nababagabag sa aking mababang marka sa English. Haay. Ako'y magpapaalam na nga sa inyo . :)

Paalam mga kababayan! :)

Sukob!

2006-08-05T17:44:00.000+13:00

Magandang Araw sa inyong lahat! Excited ako ngayon dahil manonood kami ni Mommy ng Sukob. Hay Grabe.Ang sama sama ng pakiramdam ko sobra.Para akong babagsak na ewan. Hay.Good luck na lang sakin. Masama talaga ang pakiramdam ko at hindi ko na alam kung makakapasok pa ako sa monday sa sama ng lagay ko ngayon.

Kahapon ay nagdate kami nila Michelle, Jobelle,Jakie at Rashi.Nakakatuwa nga dahil talagang namiss ko ang paminsamminsan lang kami kumakain ng magkasama ni Jakie. Anung Konek?

Sobrang Excited talaga ako! :)

Isabuhay ang Wikang Tagalog

2006-08-01T23:48:00.000+13:00

Hallur sa inyong lahat! Dahil sabi ko nga sa last entry ko,magta-tagalog ako..Kamusta naman yun diba? Tapos na ang aking monthly test at sa kabutihang palad pasado ako sa lahat maliban Trigo at sa English( Ilublob na lang yung dalawang yun sa mudpie, I-preserve at gawin na lang artifacts until year 2875 at itambak sa National Musuem!). Matapos ang tatlong buwan ay maayos naman ang 3rd year ko, hindi naman ito ganun kahirap kagaya ng inaasahan ko.Ngayon ay may pagsubok parin akong dinadaanan ngunit sabi nga ni Sir Jhun ay dapat lamang na lakasan ko ang aking loob.

Ang Chuva ek-ek ko naman mag bahagi ng chismax ngayon!

Nasabi ko ba sa inyo na.. Gusto kong panoorin ang Sukob?

*kasal ang sumpa
*kasal ang sumpa

Ang Kulit ko eh noh!.. Nga pala..My binigay n drawing sakin si Kuya Irah kanina, Si Spiderman!
Yup! Ang ganda nga eh! Unfortunately, Wala akong talent sa drawing! Hidden talent ko yun pero mas maganda kung itatago ko na lang forever hanggang sa mabulok na yun!

Makulit ba ako ha?Ano makulit ba ako?

Hanggang dito na lang mga chuvalers. :)

Aminin nyo nagenjoy kayo! Ang magdeny ilu-lublob ko sa mudpie!

I'm Back!

2006-07-30T15:17:00.000+13:00

I'm back! I'm Back! I'm Back! Have nothing to kwento anyway..

*Kuya Irah Gave me a rose*

I was really surprised. I'm not expecting him to give me a rose but he made me smile. =)
In fact, I left the rose a Vanessa's place so I have to drag Jhaidy back to Vanessas's place just to get the rose. We even got lost because We are freaking out.;I am freaking out like crazy. My exams are fine, nerve wacking and very brain damaging should I say?
My Birthday's fine-Nothing Much happened and to my surprise-Gosh, I'm already 15! What the?

Almost all my wishes came true and I feel really blessed. Thank you for making my wishes come true,I will never ever forget all of you! *Kisses*

By the way,In the celebration of Linggo ng Wika, I will be blogging using the tagalog language starting on August 1. :)

Mwah,mwah!

Hiatus Next Week

2006-07-16T22:22:00.000+13:00

Hello everyone!Forgive me for my wrong grammar.Bad,bad Grammar that is. I MIGHT not be able to update since Monthly Exams' around the corner. (July 26-27)

I have nothing to kwento except for that I don't feel like being the new Associate Editor. I don't know.I guess I should keep it to myself but It's just that even though some people believes that I deserve the title but it feels like I stole the title from someone who deserves it more than I do.More than I'll ever be.

I know I'm bringing myself down again but this is how I feel towards the difference between the two of us. Because of this, Our friendship was even damaged.

I feel sorry for him but I feel so sorry about myself.

Whatever.Will be back after the exams. That's a promise! ;)

Much,Much love from me!

Rainy Days and Birthdays

2006-07-14T12:01:00.000+13:00

I love the Rain.I love,love the rain. When I was born,That was July 26,1991 to be exact... It was raining hard according to my mom but then again, She was brought to the hospital by my GrandParents. Who Would've thought that 14 years have gone by.. and the baby is already me?

Time passes by really quickly.

Erika's BirthDay(July 12) Celebration was really... weird.Classes was supended and after that significant news,We headed Straight to Erika's house. and..There's no classes the next day.

As for my birthday... I'm not really excited or giddy for it. I don't know. Though last week, I made a request to everyone. Yeah.To everyone. and now..Birthday girl's not even happy about it. What in the world is happening to me?

I'm turning 15 in less that 20 days. 15 in less than 20 days. I think age is just a number. Just a number. Before, I used to believe that every year I must grow up.I must change.

and I did.

When I turned 13, I started feeling insecure about other perfect girls. When I become a teener or teenager, I started to feel bad about myself. It's been 3 years.3 years in my teen year. I still have 4 years to enjoy teenhood. 4 years to be a better person.4 more years to live a happier lifestyle.

I'm still fond of the rain.and as far as I know.. Rainy days will always be my favorite time of the year...and so is my birthday.

I rely Everything On God's Hands

2006-07-09T17:55:00.000+13:00

I've been confused lately. You guys know that. I went to church this morning. I rely my fate to him. I know he's the only one who can lead me to the light.I don't know how long will I hold on.All I know now is that I rely everything on his decision.He knows better that I do anyway.I have no Idea on what shall I do,How long will I keep this to myself.I believe that the closure will end this but how can that possibly happen?We don't even talk!I really want to move on and give the other guy a chance. Sigh.

Everything is beautiful in God's own time.I know this will make me a better person.The problems between me and him is such a big thing. The closure will end it all but I don't know if the closure can end the feelings as well. I feel unsure about the things that keeps on bugging me.I don't even know If I'm ready to love again.All I know is thta I'm putting all the risk in God's hands.

Past Meets Present

2006-07-07T01:04:00.000+13:00

Sigh.This day is effing shocking.

Exibit A:
In the middle of randomness I jokingly asked Daddy Jonathan about the 2 words that *A*(Daddy's Friend) failed to tell me. Guess what? *&#%$&! Mahal kita! I mean, He made me wait for an eternity and.. He loved me all this time! He loves me..but why the hell did he let me slip away from his fingers? I cried after Daddy Told me those words. I can't accpt the fact that He left without even saying a word.

Exibit B:
I told someone a certain Chinese Phrase which means "I'm falling for you but I won't let you know" but unfortuantely, He knows someone who can speak in Mandarin... So He discovered my true feelings. Speaking of Kamalasan.

Yes, *A* loves me, *Someone* loves me. The problem is I want to move on but the ghost of the past keeps on haunting me. I don't know what to do,whom to choose. Erika told me to give *someone* a chance.I don't know.A lot has been happening.

Attached.

2006-07-06T01:56:00.000+13:00

"I just want you to be happy" Erika told me. She told me she has a surprise for me for my birthday.I feel so confused lately. Someone caught my eye. I met someone..and actually, He's everything-no.He IS more that I asked for. I like him, I wouldn't deny that but the thing is -I am still living in my past that's why I couldn't move forward. I tried to forget him but I still find my self wishing to be with him. I'm still believing that one day he'll find a way for us but the fairytale is over...Things changed.Feelings hurted and most of all-My hopes were shattered. As for that someone..He is actually someone who *I think* really deserves my love but the thing is I am still attached to my past. He left like a jerk but I still find myslef thinking of him; I still find my self hoping that he'll kiss my tears away.I wanted to move forward but the unfinished closure between him and I makes me want to run back to him, hug him and never let him go!

Sigh. me estoy cayendo aún más en amor con usted, pero mi pasado todavía se rezaga.

Super Girl Returns!

2006-07-02T14:58:00.000+13:00

SuperMan already made a comeback-So Am I!hahaha.I know I can get extra hyper sometimes!
Here's what happened when I refused to say a word:

June 30,06- First meeting with my Immaculata co-staff. and Guess what? I am the new News Editor.I made Erika&Hannah cry because of something that I kept as a secret and now,the facade is broken.,

July 1,06-A seminar conducted by ex-staffs. I also got the chance to bond with Kuya Irah and Kuya Jayson.I love love them!

I thought I won't be back-but I did...and who would've thought that I will be back?I am starting to feel better now,Moving ON-Getting a life...I'm starting to rock again. :P

24 days 'til my birthday?ANy voluteer to make my wishes come true?

Surprise!

2006-07-02T02:10:00.000+13:00

Hey..I'm back!

I'm back and I won't dare say that I am okay now.I just feel better now(thanks Superman!)

Will blog tomorrow!Promise! :P

Btw,

Missed you!

On Blog Leave

2006-06-29T02:12:00.000+13:00

Super Girl is On Blog Leave

I wil be away.Don't expect me to be back tomorrow or this week end because I'll just disappoint you.If you are a keen observer.. you will notice that there IS something wrong with me.Yes,There is. That is why I'm going to be on a blog leave.I just want to shut up and look for th answers in my questions;I want to clease my mind from this confusion stage.I want to free myself from everything that makes me feel like a bird trapped in a cage. I said that I am SUPER GIRL and the thing is,this Super Girl needs backups too! I promise to right as soon as I start to feel better. I promise to tell you what happened because to tell you honestly, I can't even think of any relevant excuses of why I am feeling this way when all this time I should've realize that this is going to happen and that it is already happening. Instead of updating my blog or Teentalking, I'll just stay home and pray-not a pray over! I'll just try to pick up the pieces and keep the details in myself and hopefully, When I come back I'll be able to be happier,hopefully when I come back I am wiser and hopefully I can smile again-the way that I did before.I'm leaving everything on his will-On God's will.

Just in case that I won't be back soon-Here's my snappie in case that your turf is pretty much a mousie hang out(kidding)..Just to remind you of how I used to smile.When I return,I just wish that I'll be able to smile like the way I did before.

But Mind you,I'm still Super Girl!

Over-Wishing

2006-06-28T01:29:00.000+13:00

Ni Hao everyone!(Ni hao means "Hi" in Mandarin) My Birthday's coming in less thatn a month!How coll is that? Maybe that is why I get extra Hyper lately!I've been asking almost all my close friends a request!(You think I'm over doing the wishing thing?)

Your Birthdate: July 26

You lucked out the the skills to succeed in almost any arena.
Put you in almost any business or classroom, and you'll rise to the top.
You're driven and intense, but you also know when to kick back and cooperate.
Your ability to adapt to almost any situation is part of what's going to make you a success.

Your strength: Your attention to detail

Your weakness: You can be a little too proud of your successes

Your power color: Turquoise

Your power symbol: Arrow pointing up

Your power month: August

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

You think I over do it?

Here's some of my request:

+Kuya Billy- He's going to sing High and Narda for me.
+Daddy Jonathan- He's going to sing High too!
+Wayne/Pare-He's going to sing a Japanese song.
+Kuya Jay-He's going to visit our school while doing the "noli walk" while wearing a type A uniform of a Girl Scout.

Some who dared to Spoil Me:

Erika-She told me that she's going to surprise me.
Hannah& Mich-They are going to present a dance number of "Ang ganda ko"
Daddy Jonathan-(again!) He's going to tell me something that He failed to so in the past.
Irvin-He's going to transfer the Original Peng You by Emil Chow in his MP3 just for me.(Got to love you,Seatmate!)
+Kevin -He volunteered to be my Superman!

New Additions to my Wishlist:
+ Move On-I'm trying to forget him,I'm trying make a him a part of my past but I believe that a closure is all I need.Just tell me you never wanted to see me again and that's it.It's over.
+A greeting from him.
+A Superman Pendant or maybe A Superman Layout?
+To Find a Superman.(Hey,Super Girls need back ups too,right?)
+An OST of My Sassy Girl
+An Audrey Hepburn Book.
+A bear or A precios moment doll or a stuff piggy!
+OST of Jewel in the Palace(w/ Alipin of course!)
+Hear him say..WO AI NI,Mei Mei

Okay,Forget the last one He'll prolly won't dare say that..Not even in a million years.Maybe much better if Superman's going to find me a say "Wo ai ni, Mei Mei!"-That's better.

My Birthday's coming..And I can't help but get excited!Kisses everyone!

*Mei Mei is a Mandarin Petname which means "Baby" lol.
Quizzes:

People Envy Your Generosity

You're a giving soul, and you'd do almost anything for those you love. And they'd do anything for you!
People may envy how giving you are, but more than anything, they envy those you open your heart to.

What Do People Envy About You?

From Sassy To Super Girl!

2006-06-25T21:29:00.000+13:00

I was browsing my old blog and to my surprise...I've changed a lot. I've change in a lot of ways.The wayI speak,The way I handle my emotions, The way I type. I never thought that I would grow in such a while.It has been a year since I posted my first entry there and as far as I know, I will still love blogging-at all costs. I must have changed a lot.From the way I talk,The way I smile,The way I look at the problems, The way I look for solutions. I've changed.

To Rens:Thanks for making me feel better!Ayan may candidate na ako for SuperMan!(Kevin wag kang magtampo ha?)

Looong Day

2006-06-24T02:15:00.000+13:00

My brain is severly damaged.NO kidding.Today is a 100% brain-draining school day.We have a quiz on Chem,Geometry & English.It definitely drained every ounce of patience that's inside of my being.Damn.I never expected that I will encounter such horrific exam.No guys.Not even in my wildest dream.NO way.

~*~*~*~*~*
Today's also our club activity and guess what..We joined the Electronics club at Infairness uhmm,Wild sila.It's just that I never been in to classroom that's almost full of boys.Imagine Class 3-D of GOKUSEN! Okay,SO they are pretty wild but SIr Noly Assured us that They won't bite.I hope they won't.

~*~*~*~*~*
Super Man.Can I just be with my own Superman?I don't know what's wrong with me. but As you can see, This is not me.There's something wrong about me.I can't figured it out though.

"It's not the "M' word that makes it forever for me, Lois. My love is forever, because... it just is."

From Superman. It sucks.I never wanted to have a Superhero beside me.I never ever wanted to have one because I believe that I am a SUPER GIRL but as days passed, I continue to seem,Sadder each day...Like I'm alone or something.It's just that a lot has been happening and I can't handle it alone.and crying in my room in the wee hours of night doesn't help anymore. Maybe I just need a SUPERMAN. Sigh.

Lois: Clark, I don't want to die.

Clark: Lois, I would not let that happen.

Someone who will say that to me.Someone who will not let me fall.Someone who will be with me...Oh yeah..and what about the guy I've been talking to in my monologue in my recent entries?I don't think He is ready to be supreman.He's just SUper Inggo I guess.

Anyone who can be my Superman,my doors are still open. A Super Girl needs you help.

She needs a Superman who will not let her die. Wait,Does my SUperMan exists?

I feel so bad.Heartbeat away to giving up.

A blessing After The Rain

2006-06-22T23:58:00.000+13:00

I made it.I made it.I made it.
I passed the Entrance Exam for our School NewsPaper!Yay!Who would've thought that I'll make it?To tell you honestly, I am not a good writer and I passed!God is really Good. Despite of what happened between me and him I still feel blessed.Yes, He and I is in this fading moment.Everyday thing changes and feelings are starting to fade away.I don't know why what happened to him the whole summer all I know is that Things are not the same. I have no idea what went wrong all i know is that I'm hurt.I know that when you see me I laugh lke there's no tomorrow, that I smile like nothing's wrong and act like everything okay.I know I am pretentious. I know that I'm fooling everyone yet I can't lie to myself.I'm trying my best to heal but only God knows when will the proper cure will come.I just hope that despite of what is happening,I still want his smile to grace the darkness over me.Sigh.Calling Superman!

Halfway to the real challenge

2006-06-21T22:48:00.000+13:00

Today's wednesday. I'm free.Oh yeah I am free. Yesterday was hell day for me. Yesterday I have to study for a quiz in C.L. and for a quiz in Filipino in addition to that I still have to memorize 80 word for technical writing and There's this killer assignment in Geometry.Oh kay. 3rd Year loves me.Really.On Friday, The Real Promlem surfaces my life-The Results of Our Try out in the Newspaper!I just don't care if I will pass or not. All I care now is that I tried & I did my best. All my desires is now on God's hands and I trust my dreams to him.I am no longer afraid of taking a fall now because I believe that God will catch me. I found the light and I am no longer afraid to die. I am ready for the challege that life will throw me.

Did I just said that?

And for you..Where's your smile?Haven't you noticed that There's something wrong?That I'm loosing you?

How Trigo Almost made me Cry

2006-06-18T20:32:00.001+13:00

I've been searching for Trigo's basic use since yesterday and I was this close >< to giving up.
Kevin (buti na lang at gifted child sya) kaya toh, Almost finish na yung assignment ko.and to think that this IS just the start...I really want to cry! ~~I don't think That I can make it...~~ I don't think that I can finish off this year with a bang. 3rd year,Akala ko ba close na tayo? I wonder why third year hates me so much.I wonder why I always end up giving up when I promised myself that I'll be stronger this year.I wonder why I am like this.I will still need your prayers... Results will be posted tomorrow..and It makes my heart beat faster than ever. Did my work made a difference? I have NO idea. Will be needing God's guidance.

And For Kevin-What would I do If I didn't have you?(Superman,Is that you?)

This is just the start. Sigh

Happy Father's Day Daddy!

How Trigo Almost made me Cry

2006-06-18T20:32:00.000+13:00

I've been searching for Trigo's basic use since yesterday and I was this close >
Kevin (buti na lang at gifted child sya) kaya toh, Almost finish na yung assignment ko.and to think that this IS just the start...I really want to cry! ~~I don't think That I can make it...~~ I don't think that I can finish off this year with a bang. 3rd year,Akala ko ba close na tayo? I wonder why third year hates me so much.I wonder why I always end up giving up when I promised myself that I'll be stronger this year.I wonder why I am like this.I will still need your prayers... Results will be posted tomorrow..and It makes my heart beat faster than ever. Did my work made a difference? I have NO idea. Will be needing God's guidance.

And For Kevin-What would I do If I didn't have you?(Superman,Is that you?)

This is just the start.

Battlefield Part2

2006-06-17T00:02:00.000+13:00

Instruction:The first player of this game starts with the "6 weird things/habits about yourself" and people who get tagged need to write a blog of their 6 weird habits/things, as well as state this rule clearly.. in the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names...

1) I have a weird childhood.as in sobrang weird.

2)Whenever na may problems ako,I keep them to my self.

3)During Vacations I will sleep at around 11 pm and I wake up at 11 am the next day. :P

4)Idol ko si JangGuem

5)They say na Kamuka ko si Rashi.

6)Nagiging bratty ako pag kulang ako sa tulog.

7)Sakitin Ako.

Next Victim:Pagiisipan ko pa.

~*~*~*~*~*
Today's our first week of school and I can say that I pretty much survived naman kahit papaano.I love my teachers,The new ones as well as the old ones.Just got the taste of 3rd year life. 3rd year is the transitional period of students according to Sir Jhun and I'm keeping my fingers crossed just to hold on.ANd for you,you know who you are-I am so afraid to loose you-even if you're not mine.oo na..madrama..read my post in my other blog para magets nyo... :)

Try out Tomorrow

2006-06-16T00:07:00.000+13:00

Made takas again. (Don't you think that making takas is my HOBBY already?) Tomorrow's my try out for the school newspaper and I will really need lots of prayer...pray for me please? :) Actually, I have no plans of joining the newspaper this year since I am handling Scouting as a Production manager so I might not be able to balace my time but I promised Ma'am Tin(Our Mod last year) that I will-And I will. Pray for me! :) Love you all!

I will comment to your blogs tomorrow people!

3rd Year life is A battleField

2006-06-14T01:27:00.000+13:00

Just made takas. Today's my first real class. I met all my teachers and I am very pleased because They were all friendly!I am also seated next to Mich.Yay! Yet, I'm pretty much worried to Chem,Math& Trigo besides our school has a new polocy-We must speak in english all the time from now on. Oh-kay. (Nose bleed!)I will really need lots of prayers from you guys. 3rd year is a battlefield-not a play ground. Must fight at all costs. Better loose while fighting than never fight at all. :) I love you GUys!Kisses!

Oh yes. This is not a dream kaya!

2006-06-12T17:41:00.000+13:00

Opo.Nagbalik ako. Malamang ay masyado pang maaga para magtagalog ako since balak ko talaga ay sa Oktubre na lang pero dahil ito ang Last day ng aking bakasyon at arw ng kalayaan ngayon..wala lang..why not naman db? Mahigit kumulang 23 oras na lang at papasok na ako sa school.(Binilang ko yan ha!) AT makikita ko na ulit sya. Hindi ko alam kung anong pwedeng mangyari,kung may nararamdaman pa ba ako o wala na pero kahit ano pa man... Paninindigan ko ang desisyon ko na i-evict na sya sa buhay ko.(Parang PBB lang diba?).. Masyado na kasing maraming nangyayari na hindi ko na maintindihan kung ano ang tama o kung ano ang mali.Ang gulo gulo na kasi ng sitwasyon naming dalawa eh. Parang Rollercoaster ride na waalng hinto,yung tipong hilong-hilo ka na pero hindi mo alam kung pano ka aalis ka kaguluhan na yon. Hay naku ewan ko ba.Masama kasi yung loob ko sa kanya! As if naman na may pakielam sya sakin diba?Nga pala may love letter ako na gusto kong i-share sa inyo!

Dear Third Year,
Bukas ay magkikita na tayo.Sana lang at hindi mo kainin ang selfesteem ko at sana ay hindi rin ako mapuyat sa kakareview at kakarush ng project dahil sayo. Sana talaga ay maging mabait ka sakin at sana makisama din ang math,Trigo at Chem para naman makapag uwi ako ng matinong report card-yung pang tao! Sana talaga ay maging mabait ka sakin at wag mo akong i-sabotage! Sana lang talaga ay maging makatao ka!NAtutulog din kaya ako no? Basta magpapakabait ako sayo basta wag mong kakainis ang self esteem ko.

Nagmamahal,
Sassy Girl

Oh diba?Sosyal!Close na kasi kami ni 3rd year eh kaya nagpadala ako ng love letter sa kanya!WAHAHAHHAHA! Pinadala ko yan dun sa kalapati ng kapit bahay namin at nagreply sya infairness!eto basahin nyo:

Dear Sassy Girl,

Asa ka pa!

Love,

third year

Oh diba?Ang sweet nya!Basta pray ofr me na makasurvive ako at sana makapag update naman ako kahit papaano!

OT:Nakita nyo na ba tong pic na toh?

wala lang..nakakatako kasi eh!

Dun sa nag comment na na inspire ko daw sya... Thank you kasi ngayon lang ulit may nagsabi sakin nyan!Natouch naman ako dun!

At kay kevin:Namiss kita!hahaha!
Kisses!

Keeping The Ties

2006-06-07T22:31:00.000+13:00

Today my barkada, F.r.e.nd.z is now officially 18 months..and of course, Those 18 months that we've been together, we encoutered lots of bumps along the way(not just bumps,may manholde pa nga eh!) but in the end of the day, We're still together-for now. We're trying our best to keep our ties together as we go into another bumpy road... I'll never forget all of you.Thank you for making a huge difference in my life...I know we always tend to disagree in a lot of things because we have so much differences in our personality but no matter what I just don't care how many time I have to fall down.. I just don't care how many tears will fall... All I care is that As long as you'r here by my side I know I'll make it through the rain..As our new theme goes.."DI kita iiwan,Di ka na magiisa,Kaibigan". Thankyou for making a huge difference and for believing in me(Would you believe that Erika even made this fan club for me?lol) I really love you guys..

~*~*~*~*~*~*
today's also our first day... nothing much naman excpet for the fact that I have a new crush ! Yes,people of the solar system. I got a new crush on the newbie in our school. He's cute kasi eh.(Right,Mich?) I feel bad because He was a no show. Let's just call him Captain. He promised me that He'll tell me the two words that he wanted to tell me but He doesn't have enough courage to tell those "2 words" to me-in person yet he promised to tell me when the orientation day comes(that was last march) but He didn't! He was such a jerk and I feel like I'm a total damsel in distress. He's such a jerk! I don't know what happened to him last summer, I don't even know what He feels for me.~~And I thought I already moved on~~. Now, Months have gone by and you know what? I still don't know what to feel. and I can't believe that he did this to me. Maybe he's not for me..maybe He's not my Gyeon Woo..

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
For our celebration of our 18th month together My barkada together with Kuya Jotha,Pare &MigzZ dined out. We ate at south and As I observed... The 3 guys were really..serious while eating.. I wonder why guys tend to be serious... Can someone explain that to me?(I'm totally clueless why!)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Will still be on Hiatus.Might blog on saturday or maybe never.kidding. Will miss all of you...

Victim!

2006-06-06T00:48:00.000+13:00

I was tagged by Chelsie.(Thanks, Chels!)

Instructions:
1. The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different descriptions of their perfect lover.
2. He/she needs to mention the sex/gender of their perfect lover.
3. He/she must tag 8 more people to join this game and leave a comment on their respective sites announcing that they’ve been tagged.
4. If tagged a second time, there’s no need to post again

Oh-kay.

My Perfect Lover(Though I don’t believe in such "Perfect Lover")

1)Sweet-I want my guy-to-be someone who'll pamper me to death!But I don't mean na He sjould baby-fy me!Just someone who'll take me out to watch the stars..
2)Understanding-someone who's gifted and capable enough to understand my mood swings...
3)Witty- so that He can brighten up my day and I can brighten his too! ;)
4)Brave-he should fight for me when he have to.:(
5)Smart-when I say smart I don't mean na genius or something ha!Just someone na may one word.
6)Child Like-someone na kayang maka-ride one sa trip ko. (Like watching kiddie shows!)
7)God Fearing-May takot kay God.Period
8)Trustworthy-I don't want to hva another Jerk in my life.No way. Yes,***** not even you!

and ofcourse,Dapat Guy sya! :P

*Actually, The texts above is just my plain idea of what a perfect man should be-For me and yet in the end of the day I know He doesn't exists because there is no such thing as "Perfect" but seriously, I just want a guy who will give me a rose on our 100th day, who will accept and love me because of me, someone who will love me whether I'm femine or not.

next victim:
Karen
Kevin
Patty
Sweet Lady
Mamaru
Carl
Apeh
Ecah

Btw,Will be on hiatus cuz classes are about to start.. I'm going to miss all of you! :)

School's Starting!

2006-05-31T18:16:00.000+13:00

School's Starting.No way.Okay so I might be scaring you know because of the bratinela aura of today's post.okay so I'm somehow bratty. Our classes will start on June 13 but We'll have some so-called orientation on June 7.This might sound weird but I don't want to go to school.Why?

+School means stress.and stress means more trips to my derma because of volcanic zits.

+Presure of maintaining presentable grades because I'm from the cream section.

+No blogging.When school starts 75% of my time will (for sure) be devoted into studying so that means insignificant and very short updates.

+NO TEENTalking.I love teentalking becasue through teentalk,I was able to help teens with the dilemmas that I also encounter.

but then again in the end of the day,you know that I still want to go to school because:

+School means learning. I just love learning new things. ;)

+I'm going to see my ~~crush~~ and my friends!Yay! Miss them already!especially April!

+I'm going to meet new people again.

+I'm having my Prom this year.

+Allowance.

+I'm going to commute everyday from now on.

OKay so there. School's startin' so I might be busy so please be patient. For the people in my network(Links) I'll try my best at least drop by or comment whenever I can.

Kisses! I'm going to miss you,Blog. Seriously, I think I will.

Q&A

2006-05-30T01:32:00.000+13:00

Okay.I just posted an entry because someone dropped a question in my QBox..so I'm here just to answer someone's question.Actually... Si April toh for sure...

Q:lola!! ..lilipat n dw xa sa 4th yr ..huhu peo d actually d p sure un ...wat am i gonna do!!???... huhuhuhu
A:Una Sa lahat,I'm pretty sure na ikaw si April. Oh well kung tinutukoy mo si Angel,as I've read in you blog di pa naman sure besides, Lilipat lang naman sya.He's not going to Heaven or something, Chilll out okay! Basta this year, enjoy this coming school year kasi nga baka ito na yung last year nyo together but you should balance your time parin for our barkada and for angel. ;) If ever na tuloy ang lipatan ng channel, Well wala tayong magagawa.Only time can tell but If ever..We'll always be here for you so stay strong! ;)

Yes guys. I give free advices.Kamusta naman yun?

Too much fuss for something that's so unreal

2006-05-28T18:26:00.000+13:00

I went to National Bookstore yesterday after my trip to my dermatologist.. While waiting for my mom to finish paying the bills(That almost ended up into at least a thousand.lol.) I started browsing the "Bestsellers" stand and I saw Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code and along side with it was at least 4 or 5 books with at least the same topic...Take a guess kung ano yun..sige na...lol. Okay I'll tell you na nga.They were all against the da vinci code. sometimes I wonder why people can be so stupid sometimes. Da Vinci code is a fictional book so why do they have to publish books against it saying it's like,blasphemous, or Anti-Christ.WTF? Writers usually write stories out of imagination. I mean with out imagination how could Harry Potter exist?Ano kaya yun! I mean,they're over reacting na kaya! Da Vinci Code is fiction...They are the only ones who somehow influenced mass media that It is FACTUAL! Example? I overheard a really cute guy and his not so pretty girlfriend discussing about the book yesterday.

Guy:Gusto mong manood ng da vinci code?
Girl:oo.totoo daw yung story na yun eh.
Guy:hindi ah.fiction nga lang yun.
Girl:kung fiction yun,bakit ang daming ayaw dun?

lol.See?See? Para kasi silang mga kiddos na nagaaway if Santa Exists eh when the fact is,He's not real. Ayun.So for everyone who's against Da Vinci Code because you think that it's damaging to one faith... You're being a total physcho! I mean, It's fiction. Don't you have a strong faith? It never damaged my faith in God... So how can you say it's anti-christ?it's a fiction book kaya.Stop making so much fuss about it. You're making too much fool of your selves na kaya.

*Btw, CYSt pala yung correct spelling. It was..uhmm..rushed entry kasi eh. ;) Drink Milo everyday people!lol.(uyy!Napataas kilay ni Erika!)

Back As Promised.

2006-05-27T18:22:00.000+13:00

Hello Philippines, Hello Asia and Hello world!I'm back and I really survived that nerve wacking 3-day training. So kamusta naman ang reaction ko everytime na naririnig ko ang mahiwagang pito?lol.The Whole training is fine,fun actually. It's really good since I got the chance to spill the lastest news about me from the killer acne surgery to that decision makin chuva.lol. I'm still pretty high today, I still don't feel good and I think I'm not getting any better anyway.WTF? and summer's over. I'm going to my dermatologist today for my monthly cleaning. ;) My face just got better after Dra. Ignacio removed the acne cist in my right cheek. SO ayun.Nothing much to kwento.

OT: Happy Birthday to kuya Oliver(May 29) Naku kuya, Magasawa ka na!hahaha! Love you kuya!

Chronicles of Falling in love

2006-05-18T18:29:00.000+13:00

Forget Him…

Forget his name, forget his face
Forget you cried all night long
Forget how close you two where when you're together
Remember now, He'd chosen her

Forget you memorized his walk
Forget the he used talk
Forget the way He sat with you
Remember now, He's not with you

Forget the smile when he passed by,
Forget the times he made you cry
Forget the way he spoke your name
Remember now, Things aren't the same

Forget the times you were so blind
Forget them all They're just the past
Forget you dreams that won't come true
Forget him Girl, He's not for you

The Poem above is written by one of my good friends, Erika. It's true isn't it? Falling in love can be such a pain in the neck-especially when things happened to be the exact opposite of what you want it to be. At some part of your self, you want to scream, you want to cry-You feel broken. You wonder what happened wrong, what you did wrong. I experienced that feeling before. For sometime, I blamed myself for what happened wrong but I grew up from my immature ways and luckily, I found myself again. How did it happened? Oh well, What happened is a painful, metamorphosis-like process. The First step is actually the most painful thing-admitting to yourself that things aren't the same anymore, that everything has changed. It is hard because I believed his lies, and I believed in him. Then I blamed myself because I believed that I was the one who made the breakup happen; that I was the one who trigger such decision to let each other go but After I accepted that It's not just me, but some so-called "Fate" ended it I felt better and then, I moved on and found me again the funny thing is that- I believed that He is my Knight in Shinning Armor and because of that I was too blind to realize that He's just a Looser in Aluminum Foil. I feel better now because He's out of my life. I feel better because I am a better person now. I no longer feel sorry for my self because He left me, I just feel sorry for him because He lost me.(Yabang ko talaga no?) But then again, Getting Hurt is a part of falling in love, and loving is a part of being alive. But for girls who's heart has been broken by some looser-jerk out there don't label the whole specie of Man as all Looser-Jerks because there are still some endangered specie out there who will lovingly accept you and will stay beside forever. Take Kevin as an example, I read his blog and all I salute him because He is a gentleman. He's the kind of Guy who has respect for his ex-girlfriend and I couldn't care less. So that's all folks just remember that God might let you fell bad a bit BUT He will never let you hit the ground!

OFF TOPIC:I will be a way for like, 3 days because of our summer training in scouting; that would be on May 22-34 but I promise to make kwento after the training.

Morning World!

2006-05-12T12:12:00.000+13:00

Morning! I starter memorizing the table of elements yeaterday and naka 18 elements na ako!You want me to recite it now?Yoko!Hiya ako eh!lol. 100 elements to go!Kisses!

A little bit dramatic

2006-05-09T15:21:00.000+13:00

I'm back and not so dramatic like my last post. I will be away for a while...might be back next week. I'm going to our province to attend my tita's wedding so maybe I'll be busy because of that.. I still feel bad about that. SO ayun. Basta guys.. I'm still alive.

Shout Out:To Kevin thank you for reading my useless blabs!lol.
To Mich thanks for sending me trhe copy of our requirments

Kisses everyone!

Ms. Broken ;(

2006-05-06T01:57:00.000+13:00

If you are wondering why I have such banner for this entry it's because this one is one is killing me-really. It's breaking me heart, turning it into tiny pieces. It is not about love-yes everyone, it is but it's not because of another jerk out there...I'm hurting because of my love for my grandmother(my maternal grandmother's sister) Lola Dena use to take care of me when I was just little, back then my mom is working and so is my dad. She offered to take care of me whenever my She have to but She states that She does it because She really loves me, according to her I was every bit my mom when She was my age. When I was around 4, my maternal grandmother (side of my mom) passed away but as kid I thought I still have another grandmother if the persona of my Lola Dena. After my real Lola's death, I always look forward into seeing Lola Dena again since she's living in our province. She would even kid about that every time I go there I should bring her cigarettes but even then, I told her I don't want to loose her and she would hold me close and lock me in the warmth of her loving arms. As I grew older I still consider her as my number one Lola, next to my real Lola of course, I feel so sad because I don't want to loose her, but every time is see her, I try to hold my tears because I want to cry but I knew that one day she'll go because of her aging body. It has been almost 7 months since I last saw her but I don't worry as much because I know tita rosie is there to take care of her. Then one day tita rosie informed my other tita that Lola's other eye (the left one, I think) is decaying and She needs an eye operation, immediately. I feel bad about that but I was totally surprised that her well off daughter, whose daughter worked in Japan who has a Japanese boyfriend who sends at least 100,000 a month to support her and her adopted child didn’t even bother helping her own mother, not even caring if her mom will die. I mean, how could she do that? How could she let her daughter threw a party worth a hundred thousand for someone who’s not even their relative and not help her grandmother? I mean, If I were in that situation, I am willing to sell all my belongings just to help my mom! I mean, that woman nourished her fragile body when she was little, that woman is willing to risk her life just to secure her future. Can't she understand that? I know I can be a bitch to my mom but I will never ever risk my mom’s eyes because she don't deserve to be treated like that. Lola Dena doesn't deserve to be treated like that. I just wish I could do something to earn money because she needs 30,000 pesos to help my Lola Dena. I just wish I could do something to help ease the pain that she's going through...But I can't.

Grimace's Dirty secret

2006-05-03T14:34:00.000+13:00

If you guys are wondering if grimace is an alien no-he's not. I discovered his dirty secret a while ago and I will spill it here.Grimace is a kamote!Yup isa syang malaking kamote! Some thought he's halaya, some thought he's ube but no folks!He is a kamote a really huge one!Next in line xia for the project of Mcdo called "Mcdo kamote fries" lol.Kaya makinis ang kamoteng ito ay dahil nagpapaderma xia!nagpapadiamond peel xia!And That is how I discovered Grimace's Secret.

Next in line-Jollibee!

I know..malakas tama ko!

Cuz I'm Turning 15

2006-05-03T10:57:00.000+13:00

I'm turning 15 in less than 2 months. Amazing. I'm turning 15 in less than 2 months! I know this can be really early for my birthday wishes...but I'm afraid I won’t be able to do it when June comes since my birthday is always a monthly test day.

Sassy Girl's Wish List:

+ Better grades for the whole school year (especially in Math& Chem.)

+to grow taller even ...Just an inch or two.

+See Ma'am Tin and hear her voice and her "Go for it" mantra.

+OST of Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen

+that someone to greet me on my special day.

+My cousin Mika singing "Papa Cologne"

+More time for me.

+a really huge teddy Bear or at least a precious moments doll.

+a miracle to happen that can help promote world peace.

+A bright smile from Sir Tony or at least a joke from Sir Rene.

+a really sweet surprise from that someone.(this one is so impossible because I'm pretty sure He won't even greet me.)
+loose weight... 3-4 pounds will do.

+No exams.(July 26 is always a monthly test day)

+somebody to give me a really good message that's from the heart.

~~+Hannah & Baron's no fuss day on my birthday.~~

+People to make me feel good about myself.

+a tag from Aldred Gatchalian.(now, this is dreaming

+more friends that will make me less invisible.

+See Kathleen's hair in an up do.

+hear Wayne sing a Japanese song.lol.

Care to at least make my wishes happen?

After Hiatus!

2006-04-30T20:21:00.000+13:00

I haven't been online for a while and yet Offline life is not as boring as you can imagine and I managed pretty well. How did I survive? I don't know either. I feel bad because I wasn't able to go to the fiesta, (last Sunday April 23 2006) Erika invited me kasi. I wasn't able to go because I have to wait for Lola Tis (wife of my maternal grandmother's brother) for my 'gown fitting' for Tita Ching's wedding but it's okay, I just realized that I have to bear with it. lol. I also cut my hair. It's pretty short, really; my hair is like 3-4 inches shorter and believe me, it did affect me. No kidding. Before you say "it's just hair, it will grow back" I'm not going nuts because of my hair. It's just that for like a year I lived with my long hair and now, it's gone! Completely gone! Even my little cousin, Mika was surprised and shocked. Is it really that bad? Well, remember the time that Mulan cut her hair using her father's sword? it's just as same as that! The only difference is that my hair is worse than Mulan's! lol. So it is really bad. Whatever. By the way, since summer is here I suggest that you grab a copy of the April ish of Candy since they have good bikinis there. Kisses! I'll be back to my “Art of Doing Nothing” moment. Will blog soon to keep you posted.

I'm back..

2006-04-23T01:41:00.000+13:00

but I have nothing interesting to say. What a meaningful,heart warming speech!lol. How are you guys doing? As for me, to tell you honestly, I'm still hurting. but on the other hand I know I'm going to get over it, over him. I want to watch my sassy girl before the school year starts. Weird ko noh? I dunno.~~I want to move on badly~~ This is my choice, no turning back this time. Btw, just a piece of news... I might me going to Laguna or Cavite this week so Maybe I won't be able to make a post but please do keep my blog alive. Kisses!

*Maybe I should be more careful in what I say, damn, dood!My mom's actually reading my posts!lol.

A decision to make

2006-04-19T19:21:00.000+13:00

"Destiny is shaped through the choices that we make"

How relevant to me...Women are really pickle-minded. I have to agree with that; especially in my situation right now. It has been 5 weeks since I made this heart breaking decision and for 5 weeks, that decision continues haunt me- it troubles my mind, it breaks my heart, it made me have second thoughts, it made me afraid of what might happen and most of all, it influences me to give up. Maybe you are wondering about my "decision" so to avoid confusion (and because I love you too much!) Err, it's like this... I'm love this guy but I don't think that he loves me as well (I swear, I don't know!) and then all of a sudden I have to make a decision it's either I wait and get hurt or Let go and move on. And I chose the latter one. I chose to let go not because I want to but it's because I have to- I have to because I want to be happier. I have no other choice but move on, I have to take the risk and get a life but Life is a game and after I made the decision of letting him go, At the back of my mind I kept on asking myself on what MIGHT have happen if I didn't chose the latter choice. I took the risk of forgetting him without even saying a word. I prayed and prayed asking God to help me clear my mind, asking God if I made the right choice asking God for help because no matter how much I lied and tell my friends It's no longer "him" that I love, in my hearts of hearts I know that what I'm saying is crap. It sucks though, I often ask myself 'what could've happen if I didn't let him go, Will I be happier?' It sucks and it breaks my heart. I just hope that I made the right decision. I just hope that I took the right path. I just hope that someone can help to stop this feeling because to tell you honestly, I have no idea on how to make the hurting stop.

Happy.Happy.Happy.

2006-04-18T01:31:00.000+13:00

I'm happy.happy.happy. The School Admin released the cards today and I'm pretty ~~surprised~~ yet happy.

Here's my list:
Filipino:87
English:92
Math:82
Science:83
Elective:90
Social Studies:89
Mapeh/Scouting:92
Computer:92
TLE:93
CL:87
EP:94

Gen.Ave: 88%

Someone pass me the tissue! I never ever expected to have such grades. I mean, I never ever took my studies seriously. But I guess, I'm really blessed! Happy.happy.Happy. I just can't ask for more. I swear. I soooo happy!!

Kisses everyone!

Colonies in Mars?

2006-04-13T17:49:00.000+13:00

yah, my History teacher said na pinag-aaralan daw ng US ung Mars and this one moon sa Jupiter yata... Nakakita sila ng life forms...and nag-pplano na raw na mag-expand ng colonies ang US sa mga planets na un...

When I heard this, naalala ko ung anime na Galaxy Angels! wahah... This may not happen in our lifetime, but you think talagang someday, ang humankind eh titira na sa ibang planets? And imbis na countries ang lipatan, magiging Mars na or something sa space?

What do you think of that?

from here

you think that is really possible?I think so.

...

2006-04-13T03:38:00.000+13:00

guys can you vote for my friend Jhesca?

http://she.pink-blush.org/random-ation

vote for her naman!please?this means a lot to me.

Me, the prettiest?

2006-04-13T01:17:00.000+13:00

From:
Yves BLiND
Date:
Wednesday, April 12, 2006 5:26:00 AM
Subject:
hi
Message:
hi....maybe tomorrow I won't get a chance to say dis...." ur the prettiest girl I've ever seen " Tnx for reading.....Tke cre ang God Bless

Someone said so! Well...whatever!At least someone actually appreciated me for being me.lol.

That's my lil' cousing, Mika a.k.a. Jen Junior. Dahil lahat daw ng pagka brattinela nya,She got it from me.In that Shot she's looking somewhere.This was taken before I went to Tanay last November 05. ;)

one of her pa-cute shots. Sa room ko toh.

How are you guys doing?loving summer? enjoy it to the max a busy years might await you. ;)

kisses!

Happier Me.

2006-04-11T17:44:00.000+13:00

I seriously think the happy gurl in me is back.I don't know how it happened but out of nowhere I can feel that rare feeling again.It has been a long 10 months for me,though. The past school year challenged me,physically,emotionally. I've had enough and I was too fed up to settle my thoughts and then one sunny day(lol!) I just regain out of mithingness...that rare feeling again. All of a sudden... I'm happy once again.Maybe being away from all those problems is all I need after all. ;) I feel better now and i hope that this "rare feeling" will stay forever, It's not because I'm afraid to be lonesome... It's just that I want to be happy na. I'm fed up of always being the one who have to suffer. Ayoko na. I want to live a happier life, a better life style and I want real friends. Not the ones na after they got what they need for you, iiwan ka. I want friends who will trust me and appreciate me, not the ones who will not believe you and refer you as a liar, na all they can see is your imperfectness. May ganun pa ba?kung meron,can you please be mine.LOL

I feel so PBB!

2006-04-06T01:44:00.001+13:00

Seriously I do. Summer is here and yet boredom is killing me and that’s another weird statement brought to you by me! LOL. I can still remember those times that I prayed for summer vacation to come because of my dreaded Algebra take home Quiz. I’m like “Summer Vacation please come. Early … I really need you!” and now, summer is here and I can’t help but feel blue. I miss the pressure that I used to encounter every time I have to rush and pass my projects on time. I miss the hell weeks and the hell day that forbids me to sleep for 8 hours. I miss the discussions that sharpened my opinions. I miss being late and being scared to death because for sure Ma’am Tin will be furious. I miss getting +5 from Sir Tony. I miss playing Jang Guem while Sir Tony is my Lady Han. I miss seeing my crush and getting kilig to the bones when He looks on my way. I miss ate’s kare-kare and fried chicken not to mention their bagoong that I really love. I miss the big vanity, full-length mirror in the scouting room. I miss eating siomai and pugo after a long, stressful day. I miss getting on duty and wearing the super Girl Scout uniform. I miss calling Jobelle “Ate Giraffe”. I miss the pressure, the hell weeks and most of all-the people behind my sophomore rollercoaster ride and I can’t believe I will miss those things/persons this much. Summer Vacation, I guess you heard me and I wish you didn’t but as the saying goes, “When Life gives you lemons, Make Lemonade” I guess all I can do now is to make the most of it. ;)

PBB Analization

2006-04-03T20:01:00.000+13:00

They usually refer to PBB(Pinoy Big Brother) even during its first season as the “Teleserye ng totoong buhay” at first I’m like “Wtf?” because I admit, I’m not a fan and I think that show is crap but not when I realized its real concept, the deeper concept that is.

I think and I do believe that PBB is indeed the teleserye of real life. Why did I say so? This involves lots of explanation so please be patient.
It goes like this…. In PBB you have the “Big Brother” house, the housemates, the cameras rolling 24/7 even when they are actually bathing and of course, Big Brother. In real life, real outside life we have those as well-but not literally. The cameras rolling where the eyes of God, He can see everything that we do, every single action we conduct and all the violations that we make. Big Brother is God… because he is always on call 24/7. Then, the Big Brother house is our so-called “Mother Earth” and we are the housemates. In PBB, the housemates were called in the “Confession Room” to know their tasks yet in real life, We go to church and listen to the word of God to know our tasks.

This might sound weird but I only realized that out of nothingness.How weird-Slap me.LOL. But then again Don’t you think we should start pulling of our tasks? I guess it’s better to finish it before our eviction Day Comes.

New Layout!

2006-04-03T00:51:00.000+13:00

My new layout is here finally! I'll write tomorrow..promise!MUah!