If you are wondering why I have such banner for this entry it's because this one is one is killing me-really. It's breaking me heart, turning it into tiny pieces. It is not about love-yes everyone, it is but it's not because of another jerk out there...I'm hurting because of my love for my grandmother(my maternal grandmother's sister) Lola Dena use to take care of me when I was just little, back then my mom is working and so is my dad. She offered to take care of me whenever my She have to but She states that She does it because She really loves me, according to her I was every bit my mom when She was my age. When I was around 4, my maternal grandmother (side of my mom) passed away but as kid I thought I still have another grandmother if the persona of my Lola Dena. After my real Lola's death, I always look forward into seeing Lola Dena again since she's living in our province. She would even kid about that every time I go there I should bring her cigarettes but even then, I told her I don't want to loose her and she would hold me close and lock me in the warmth of her loving arms. As I grew older I still consider her as my number one Lola, next to my real Lola of course, I feel so sad because I don't want to loose her, but every time is see her, I try to hold my tears because I want to cry but I knew that one day she'll go because of her aging body. It has been almost 7 months since I last saw her but I don't worry as much because I know tita rosie is there to take care of her. Then one day tita rosie informed my other tita that Lola's other eye (the left one, I think) is decaying and She needs an eye operation, immediately. I feel bad about that but I was totally surprised that her well off daughter, whose daughter worked in Japan who has a Japanese boyfriend who sends at least 100,000 a month to support her and her adopted child didn’t even bother helping her own mother, not even caring if her mom will die. I mean, how could she do that? How could she let her daughter threw a party worth a hundred thousand for someone who’s not even their relative and not help her grandmother? I mean, If I were in that situation, I am willing to sell all my belongings just to help my mom! I mean, that woman nourished her fragile body when she was little, that woman is willing to risk her life just to secure her future. Can't she understand that? I know I can be a bitch to my mom but I will never ever risk my mom’s eyes because she don't deserve to be treated like that. Lola Dena doesn't deserve to be treated like that. I just wish I could do something to earn money because she needs 30,000 pesos to help my Lola Dena. I just wish I could do something to help ease the pain that she's going through...But I can't.

..and She prepared for the Party!