I’m currently crazed about Joan of Arcadia, even though I’ve watched the whole season already, yet I’m still hooked and I’m still watching its season premiere at Qtv 11. It’s really ironic, of all irony of ironies, I can’t understand why every episode always hits me,big time. The thought of forgiveness was the issue on today’s episode,where Joan, thought it’s impossible to forgive his boyfriend Adam after he cheated on her. If I were in Joan’s shoes, I don’t think that I,for the sake of love, can forgive that easily. Loving and Trusting in a relationship is never easy, and it’s way harder to realize that the investment that you gave in the relationship, despite of all you efforts to make it work, will come in to a painful,heart breaking end. As what God said to Joan, sometimes we expect too much and when something happens that is probably different from what we expected, we upset ourselves.

Being in any form of relationship is never easy; we tend to spend too much time and effort to make it work because we want it to work. My best friend, Lloyd and I were talking about relationships last night, We’re both in a relationship and we’re exchanging our views about the relationships that we’ve had and our current ones… and he told me one sweet truth, that in a relationship, we’’ never know when it will end, true enough, We’ll never know. And sometimes, it’s better if we don’t know… Being in a relationship is like hiking in an unfamiliar hike site, you’ll never know which path is the best, but you’re pretty confident that you’ll make it through because you have that someone special’s hand, right by your side for you to hold. But the heck in hiking is that, you’ll never know what will happen. You might lose that person’s hand, there are many possibilities, and the other person’s hand can disappear right before you very eye, the hand who had been your strength can vanish away in a split second.

I hate to think about this because I promised my boy that he won’t hear any breakup things from me again, we’ve fought over this, and all that he’s been asking for is my faith in our relationship. I guess it’s about time for me to trust again. I’m likely the kind of person who can expect to much, I did once, ‘cause I never thought that he’ll stop loving me for a reason that until now, I don’t understand why it had happened and at that moment, all I had was my love for him but he refused it.

The experience of my heartbreak is way different from the movies, sure we fixed the damaged but it took us a long period of time to get over it. Life is not “serendipity” or “a lot like love”, it’s now the reel thing, it’s the real thing that’s happening before us. I know it would be better if our love story is all like the ones that we see in the silver screen, but life wouldn’t be that magical if that happened. Life is not a decision, it’s more of taking the right choices, and the right choices are the ones who can make you happy, the ones who can take away all the pain that you’ve been through in a single smile.

My heartbreak’s over, though a part of me still hurting, my wound over this matter has bee healed. Healing from pain is not about time, you can only be healed after you’ve decided to be cured. I believe that what we often forget to find our healing, we always wanted quick fixes, but healing takes time and decisiveness. Staying in a comfort zone will only make your wound last longer. Finding the right medication is the best thing to do, That’s what I’ve learned that I want to share with all of you.

Even if I firmly believe in forgiveness, but Forgetting is the bigger picture. It’s like writing in a black board, you can’t see the rest of the text unless you move away from it. To be honest, I’m still in the process of healing, though I’ve forgiven, Forgetting is another thing.

~Out Of Topic: To the Woman who carried my in her womb for 9 months, who raised me up for 16 years, who’s part of every picture in my life, Happy Mothers Day. My mom has no “Ph D”, nor ever an “Atty. “ right before name, but, a title isn’t a requirement to become a good mom, and I’m proud to be her daughter, her unconditional love that she continues to give me is the most sweetest treat in life. She’s been supportive through out my life and I’m really lucky to have her. She have seen me at my best and worst, and still, she loves me all the say. Now, That’s the perfect love that we’ve been looking for. Sometimes, we spend to much time looking around, not knowing that the love we’ve been looking for is right before our very eyes- the love from our mom.

..and She prepared for the Party!