Recently, I've committed myself into a relationship. It's not your typical boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, it's completely the other way around, it'll make you even flip. I was reluctant to tell my mom about the relationship, as reluctant I was into jumping into this kind of relationship. Even if I'm just 15, I'm afraid to be in this kind of liaison kasi I know, bata pa ako and things can go wrong when you're in love at such young age. My first concern is that, being immature, many things can happen. The stings of breakups, less freedom, always having to bother about being a decent girlfriend, and most of all, the destruction it can possibly bring me. I was afraid na baka hindi ko ma-handle lahat yan but what those fears disappeared when I heard the advice of a really close friend,even if our age gap is more than 10 years, her words made so much difference. According to her, It's normal to get involved in this kind of relationship at my age and she's glad that I'm making little steps instead of a big leap that I might be regretting in the end. So I gathered up all my courage and committed myself. Then, the second stop is my mom.After conquering my fears, My mom is the next on my list. I can't stand all the sneaking in and I don't want to hide our relationship with my parents. Even if I know that they might disapprove, I still dared to tell my mom about my boyfriend. I respect my mom enough,and I don't want to sneak behind her back. Moreover, my mom trusts me so much and I don't want to break her trust and mostly, her heart. So I told her about it, at first, she's not all praises for our relationship but she told me that She trusts me, She said that She knows that I’m not that kind of girl who acts before thinking and those words were enough to make me cry out of happiness. It turns out that my mom is completely different from how I thought she was. I didn’t know that she trusts me so much. Of course, my mom is also afraid that I’ might get busted and get pregnant but the good thing is, my mom believes in me so much that she knows that from the way she raised me up, I’ll be reserved until the night of my wedding.

Because of my confession to mom, my respect for her grew firmer. I don’t even want to bring her down. I realized that I’m really lucky to have a trusting mom like her. If you’re going to ask me if I’ll trade my mom for Oprah Winfrey, Well, Hell no! Sure, Oprah is my idol but still, there’s no mom like MY mom. Just like what Harriet Beecher Stowe said, “Most mothers are instinctive philosophers.” And I’m glad that my mom is one of those instinctive philosophers around and I won’t trade her, not even for Oprah Winfrey or Audrey Hepburn.

..and She prepared for the Party!

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall."—Confucius

I've had my fair share of heart breaks, and I've broken some hearts, too. Last year, I also wrote a blog entry about love, loving, and getting hurt. I know this is just the "Painful past" but I believe that I have to write about this, I went through that phase for a reason, and I believe that THIS is the reason. Therefore, here's my story..

A few weeks before that Saturday, We've fighting a lot, we're having problems but I never thought that something such as what happened will actually take place... and so, I gathered every ounce of courage left in my system, I called him, I don't want to detail everything but next thing I know is that my heart was bleeding because of what he said. I ended up crying my heart out, not minding how anxious my mom is... For nearly a month, I tried to live with out him but the painful truth is, I'm still searching for the blade who made my heart bleed. I tried my best to look happy, to look fine but things just got even sourer. It was only then that I realized that the kindest thing that I can do for myself is to accept what happened, and I kept on praying to God for my healing and he did. I never questioned God when I went through that kind of hurting. After nearly a month, while talking on the phone with him, he said those magic words that replenished all the hurting that he caused me, and the rest is history.

What I'm trying to say is that, When you're in a heart break just like what I went through, Don't even question God. He pushed you out of your comfort zone because he wants you to become stronger. It's even stated that "I love you just that way you are, but I love you so much that I can't bear to see you that way-God". Once in our lives, we must become poor souls to be able to see how blessed we are, we need to become needy so that we'll see God's grace. When we pray, we often ask God for good grades, a better love life, and the like but for a second thought, have we ever thanked God for all the luxuries that he’s been giving us? Moreover, why do we always have to ask for more when we have enough? WHY CAN’T WE THANK GOD ENOUGH?

The bottom line is,we always wanted to live a carefree life, we search for the perfect life but what we fail to see is that we can never have everything at the same time, we must learn how to work hard for it. It's not because we're lucky enough, It's because we deserve it. Think about those hearts that we've broken in the past.. think about those who broke our heart.. I guess it's the right time to reflect. Even if Holy week's over, we still have 7 weeks to reflect. Think, reflect, and decide. Who knows,maybe you still have a bruise in your heart that isn't healing correctly.

And to those that I've hurted, to those hearts that I've broken.. I'm sorry for all the pain that I brought you. I'm praying for your quick healing.

..and She prepared for the Party!

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall."—Confucius

I've had my fair share of heart breaks, and I've broken some hearts, too. Last year, I also wrote a blog entry about love, loving, and getting hurt. I know this is just the "Painful past" but I believe that I have to write about this, I went through that phase for a reason, and I believe that THIS is the reason. Therefore, here's my story..

A few weeks before that Saturday, We've fighting a lot, we're having problems but I never thought that something such as what happened will actually take place... and so, I gathered every ounce of courage left in my system, I called him, I don't want to detail everything but next thing I know is that my heart was bleeding because of what he said. I ended up crying my heart out, not minding how anxious my mom is... For nearly a month, I tried to live with out him but the painful truth is, I'm still searching for the blade who made my heart bleed. I tried my best to look happy, to look fine but things just got even sourer. It was only then that I realized that the kindest thing that I can do for myself is to accept what happened, and I kept on praying to God for my healing and he did. I never questioned God when I went through that kind of hurting. After nearly a month, while talking on the phone with him, he said those magic words that replenished all the hurting that he caused me, and the rest is history.

What I'm trying to say is that, When you're in a heart break just like what I went through, Don't even question God. He pushed you out of your comfort zone because he wants you to become stronger. It's even stated that "I love you just that way you are, but I love you so much that I can't bear to see you that way-God". Once in our lives, we must become poor souls to be able to see how blessed we are, we need to become needy so that we'll see God's grace. When we pray, we often ask God for good grades, a better love life, and the like but for a second thought, have we ever thanked God for all the luxuries that he’s been giving us? Moreover, why do we always have to ask for more when we have enough? WHY CAN’T WE THANK GOD ENOUGH?

The bottom line is,we always wanted to live a carefree life, we search for the perfect life but what we fail to see is that we can never have everything at the same time, we must learn how to work hard for it. It's not because we're lucky enough, It's because we deserve it. Think about those hearts that we've broken in the past.. think about those who broke our heart.. I guess it's the right time to reflect. Even if Holy week's over, we still have 7 weeks to reflect. Think, reflect, and decide. Who knows,maybe you still have a bruise in your heart that isn't healing correctly.

And to those that I've hurted, to those hearts that I've broken.. I'm sorry for all the pain that I brought you. I'm praying for your quick healing.

..and She prepared for the Party!

After 10 months of lack of proper sleep, nerve-wracking stress days, long nights of newspaper editing, quizzes, and other irrelevant school works that made my year really brain damaging… My junior year is finally over and I'm really thankful. This coming Saturday, we'll be having our Recognition day and yes, after that, Junior year is officially over. I believe that the previous school year really played a big part in my growth as a person. The year really knocked me out-emotionally, physically, and mentally. I did not able to surpass my grade last year bit I would say, This year is really better. Much better that my sophomore year. Here are some of the things that will prove that Junior year is way, way better yet much, much meaner that my sophomore year.

Pros of Junior:

+ I learned to play Basketball and Volley ball from the heart. The best thing about it is that aside from learning I've realized that it would really pay off if I'll kiss my girly-girl attitude good bye not because I wasn't a good person because of it yet, My cow girl attitude will bring me to more beautiful places.

+I learned to appreciate myself more. Gone are the days that I'll be frustrated because I don't think I'm good enough. I've learned that the best way to appreciate you life is to love yourself , seek improvement,and to see the brighter side of things rather than the gloomy ones.

+ I taught my self to be more independent. My talks with Ate Jho, (my TLE teacher) surely made me stronger. She taught me to listen to my heart, not in what others might say. When the issue came, many people judged me even if they don't know the story. Many people labeled me as a user even if they weren't even involved in the issue and sad to say, mostly, those people who thought of me that way are mostly those that I also THOUGHT I can trust.

+ I became stronger. I have been hurt more than once in the past year. Many caused me so much pain, emotionally. The cut that they made is so deep that even until now, I'm still bleeding but I couldn't care less. I just don't care. I know that I didn't stepped on any body, I never mean to hurt anyone even if I did hurt them.

+My relationship in God grew stronger. Ever since the problems surfaced me, I've never gone astray hope with God because I firmly believe that God gave me problems because He knows very well that I'll make it through, and I'm proud that I've never questioned him during the time of my pain.

+ I've made my most principle-breaking yet surely biggest and bravest decision I've ever done- to get involved in a relationship with my best friend. He's been courting me for as long as I could remember and He was able to gain my trust. Even if he's already my boyfriend now, Still He continues to be my best friend. And even many people gave me their "I object" treatment to show me their opinions, I just don't care. My mom didn't even disapproved, Ate Jho,a teacher even encouraged me to take this hard decision so why would they have to act that why, right? Very, very mean, really.

And of course, we have the cons of Junior:

+Lack of Sleep.
+Stress.
+Pressure.
+No Ma'am Tin-Tin.
+People who are judging me even if they are not even asked to give their cynical opinions.


As a closure in my entry, the sweetest part of my life now is actually being contented to my life even if I still want to have more enhancements in my life. I still want to go in a good university; I want to finish high school with flying colors and the like. Even if I have fewer friends to trust now, I believe that this is much better than to have a bunch of blood-sucking people right beside you. ;)

..and She prepared for the Party!